my future married life essay

Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

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Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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I was upset my friend was getting married. Then I toppled her wedding cake

“Where does the cake go?” I asked a bow-tied bartender, my voice tight and panicked. I was in my best cocktail dress and heels, trying to keep my grip on a box roughly the size, and weight, of a bear cub.

I’d been late getting ready, late picking up the cake, and now I was late to my friend Stephanie’s wedding . I’d missed the ceremony completely and it was already cocktail hour. I just wanted to get the cake through the crowd and onto the dessert table before the bride noticed.

The bartender pointed me toward the reception tent on the other side of the winery. As I shuffled forward, I grumbled to myself: Why did I have to volunteer to transport the cake? Why, I wondered, was I going to this wedding at all?

Stephanie was my next-door neighbor. Her getting married meant she and her 4-year-old daughter were moving, which meant both my toddler and I were losing our best, and closest, friends. Of course, I knew I was supposed to be happy for Stephanie, who’d finally found true love. And on the outside, I was. I smiled, I celebrated, and I put on heels. But on the inside, I was drooping like a day-old bouquet.

When I eventually placed the box on the dessert table, I sighed with relief. I even gave a wink and two thumbs up to a waiter, who was putting out the last of the silverware. Finally, my task was complete. Maybe now I could find a glass of wine and try to enjoy myself.

But my joy turned to horror when I opened the box and found the cake, a two-tier confection with white buttercream frosting, decorated with greenery, was almost completely horizontal: smushed up against the side of its cardboard box.

I stood, frozen, staring at the cake. Frosting was everywhere, sections of yellow cake popping out. I had the scary thought that somehow, subconsciously, I might have done this on purpose.

It all started when Stephanie began dating her husband-to-be.

She and I sat on my front patio, sharing a bottle of wine and a cheese plate my husband had prepared for us. Our toddlers were taking turns going down a plastic slide.

“There’s just something about him,” my friend said. “I can see myself with him. I think he’s the one.”

I congratulated her, poured more wine, and assured her that her new boyfriend seemed like a great catch. I was genuinely happy for her.

As the months passed, when we’d chat over our garden wall or meet for toddler playdates, Stephanie would mention marriage more and more. I was excited, asking when she thought he was going to propose. I always told her how fun married life could be and was looking forward to watching her be a bride. But eventually, she started mentioning the new home she and her bigger family would need. He wanted more space than her two-bedroom townhome and she wanted a place where they could start fresh together. “Neither his place nor my place — our place,” she told me.

I hated the idea.

Ever since I’d moved into the neighborhood two years before, Stephanie and I had been fast friends. I could always depend on her if I needed a last-minute babysitter and she could always count on me to bring over pizza and dessert on days she had to work late. Whenever one of us unexpectedly ran out of baby wipes, the other was always ready to pass a package over the garden wall.

It meant so much to have a mom friend next door, especially when I felt unsure of my skills as a parent. Stephanie had a teenager as well, so as the more experienced parent, she’d give me valuable advice and introduce me to the best local toddler activities and classes. When I complained about a hard parenting day, she commiserated. It always made me feel better. She was one of the first people I told after I found out I was pregnant with my second, and there were many days when she came over to hold my newborn so I could shower or take a nap.

One day, Stephanie texted me a picture of an engagement ring. “He proposed! I can’t believe it,” she wrote.

I couldn’t believe it either, or maybe I didn’t want to.

After that, things moved fast. Wedding plans were made, a date was set, and soon, Stephanie started packing. Her fiancé had found them a beautiful home in the next city over.

I started dreading the wedding. Stephanie’s friendship had meant so much to me. Without her next door, I didn’t know what I’d do.

On the day of Stephanie’s wedding, I woke up feeling off. I was distracted, thinking about a close friend who had moved out of state in middle school and another friend who had transferred out of our college. People say they’ll keep in touch, but it’s always hard.

I stomped around all morning as I got ready, got the kids dressed and finally picked up the cake. It wasn’t until later that day, when I opened the cake box and found the frosting covering the inside of the box, that I finally snapped out of my mood.

My friend’s wedding cake was splattered like a pie in a “Looney Tunes” cartoon. And it was all my fault.

I was shocked. My friend’s wedding cake was splattered like a pie in a “Looney Tunes” cartoon. And it was all my fault. Had this happened when I turned off the freeway? Had I tilted it too much while walking through the venue? Did the air conditioning not reach my car’s hatchback, causing the cake to simply melt onto itself? I wasn’t sure.

I stood there, frustrated, sad and on the verge of tears. I’d missed my friend’s wedding ceremony, missed her finally saying “I do,” and now I was ruining the reception, delivering a mess of a cake. Stephanie had been there for me, supported and encouraged me often over the last two years, and I’d let her down on her big day. I wanted to step away from the table, get to my car and drive away as fast as I could. But I knew I had to, somehow, try to fix this.

The guests were still at cocktail hour, which meant Stephanie was busy taking photos on the other side of the venue. But I knew I was quickly running out of time.

I gently pulled the cake up and out of the box, letting the top half rest on my forearm as I kept the two layers somewhat together. When a waiter walked by, I shouted, “Get me a knife!” like a surgeon in a medical drama. He handed me a myriad of utensils and I got to work, trying to push the cake right-side up and level the frosting. Another woman, who I later learned was the caterer, offered a pitcher of water. “A wet knife will work better,” she said. She dipped a knife in the water and covered a patch of exposed cake with ease. “Don’t worry, I’ve seen a lot worse,” she said before getting back to preparing the buffet food. 

I was grateful for help from this apparent frosting whisperer, but from the smell of rosemary chicken she was now uncovering, I knew I was running out of time.

Now on my own, and with seconds to finish, I tried my best to smooth the final sections. I even stole greenery from the table centerpieces to cover the hopeless sections. In the end, I had frosting on my hands, on my dress and in my hair, and the cake still leaned slightly to one side — but I thought it looked OK. Almost normal.

When the first wedding guests started arriving at the reception tent, I took that as my cue to head to cocktail hour and find my husband and kids. Together, we walked to our table.

As we mixed in with the other guests, chatted with some of Stephanie’s other friends and eventually found our table, I kind of felt like that cake. I’d been a droopy mess before, but now I felt pieced together and ready for a party.

Sure, I was losing a great neighbor, but at the same time, there was so much to be thankful for, so much to celebrate. Of course I wanted to be there. I wanted to stand tall and celebrate my friend.

In the end, everyone seemed to enjoy the cake, even though it was a little off. When I took a break from dancing to get a slice, it was already gone.

I saw Stephanie outside the next morning. She was on her way to the airport, ready for her honeymoon. When I apologized for the cake, she just laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal. Still, I found myself apologizing again and again. I knew I was sorry about more than just the cake. “When you get back, let me know how I can help you finish packing,” I said, giving her a big hug.

In the past six months since Stephanie moved, I have to admit, we’ve only seen each other a handful of times. Maybe she and I will figure out how to keep in touch better than I have with other friends who have moved. Maybe we won’t. But I’m so lucky I had Stephanie for a next-door neighbor when I did. Now, we might not be as physically close, but I hope we’re friends for a long time.

And while Stephanie said the cake wasn’t a big deal, I still feel bad. Every so often, I wonder about my first thought when I first opened the box, if I really did wreck it on purpose. But the more I think about it, the more I’m sure it was an accident. Things happen: Cakes fall, we run late, friends move. We just have to try to do our best and, when we’re down, hope someone will help build us back up and smooth the edges.

Jillian Pretzel is a California-based writer and mom of two. You can find her on Instagram or at www.jillianpretzel.com .

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Table of contents, where i see myself in 10 years: a profound exploration, 10 years from now: nurturing personal and professional growth, how do i see myself 10 years from now: a commitment to values, embracing the journey of the next decade, turning dreams into reality: the road to my future, navigating the career landscape: a fulfilling professional journey, fostering personal growth: a holistic approach to well-being, a global citizen: making a positive impact on society, conclusion: a journey of transformation and purpose.

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7 Married Life Predictions to Signify if Your Marriage Will Last

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

In This Article

When heading down the alter or saying ‘I do’, many couples would love the opportunity to have married life predictions made about their future. Will they be happy? Will their marriage be a success? But such statements can hardly be made about a couple – or can they?

Some believe that certain personality traits, relationship behaviors, or even your birth date can determine whether or not you and your spouse will live a long and happy life together.

Can you sum up the future of your relationship with married life predictions? Not exactly. But there are a few telltale factors that experts say will make your marriage a success.

Here are 7 signs that your marriage is going to last

1. You know how to communicate

Partners who have excellent married life predictions are often those who know how to communicate openly with one another . You’ve likely heard that good communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy married life.

Couples who do not communicate regularly are more prone to disagreements and arguments because they have not made their needs known or have not clarified. On the other hand, communicating with your spouse can help you avoid unnecessary arguments, resentments or stonewalling since it lets both partners know exactly what the issue at hand is.

Communication also builds trust in a relationship, since each spouse knows the other isn’t afraid to talk honestly with them.

2. You have fun together

Audrey Hepburn was once quoted as saying “I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” While laughter probably isn’t’ the most important thing in most relationships, it definitely has power behind it.

Laughter is a natural mood enhancer that lowers anxiety and stress, making it the perfect indicator of whether or not your relationship is going to be happy and relaxed or a nerve-racking mess.

Being playful and having a sense of humor is a positive dynamic in a romantic relationship.

3. They’re your go-to person

When something good happens, the first person you want to celebrate with is your spouse. You know that they aren’t going to be jealous or skeptical of your great news – they’re going to be overjoyed!

If you get a gift card or receive an invitation to an upcoming event, your spouse is the first person on your list to take. You put them before anyone else and the most definitely top the list of people you want to spend your time with.

Similarly, when there is bad news or unfortunate circumstances in your life, you can’t think of anyone who could comfort you more than your partner. When you are with the right person, this is not a conversation you will dread having, it’s a conversation you desire to have. Even if the news will hurt them or reveals a wrongdoing on your part.

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4. You forgive and forget

Too many couples lose their way by holding onto old grudges and resentment. Smart couples know that forgiving and forgetting are all part of the deal. Instead of holding onto a problem, a phrase, or an act done against them, a spouse will let go of the issue once it has been dealt with. Happy couples also learn to reconnect after an argument to make the process of forgiveness that much easier.

5. Date night is a staple

Marital satisfaction increases when couples spend their leisure time together. That’s why couples with a happily married life prediction don’t skimp on date night. This standing date, done one or more times a month, is a great way for couples to spend time together. Date night gives couples the opportunity to plan special events or to surprise their spouses with things they might like. It’s a night where they can go back to how it was when they were first dating and build up some sexual chemistry. To get to know one another all over again.

Having a regularly scheduled date night is about keeping your love alive. It’s also great for parents with small children who are looking to spend some alone time together where they can actually give one another their undivided attention. Making your partner a priority in your life is a huge factor in whether or not your relationship is going to work out.

6. You know how to fight fair

Disagreements are bound to happen in any marriage, but it’s how you handle them that will speak volumes about your relationship. Happy couples respectfully discuss problems and use arguments as a motivator for solving the problem.

Those who fight fair do not withdraw or downplay an issue. Instead, they listen patiently, show respect, stay on topic, and aren’t afraid to apologize if they are in the wrong (and sometimes even if they’re not.)

Unhappy couples use an argument as an opportunity to verbally attack one another’s character, resort to name-calling, bring up hurtful experiences from the past, and are more focused on berating their spouse than resolving their issues.

7. You like your spouse

In an ideal world, your marriage partner is also your best friend. This is also a statistic that works as a positive happily married life prediction. It practically goes without saying that if you married your partner, odds are you love them. But the telltale signs of staying together is when couples actually like each other. This means you’re not just romantic partners – you’re friends, too.

Lust and infatuations can go through ebbs and flows in a marriage, sometimes even fading away, but so long as you genuinely enjoy one another’s company then you’ll always have each other.

When you are married to the right person, your relationship just works. Married life predictions may not always be on the nose, but by making one another a priority, being supportive, practising honest communication, and fighting fair, you’ll certainly give your marriage a sure shot at success.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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24 Questions to Help You Plan for Your Future Marriage

• By Jen Weaver
• August 13, 2024

A future marriage begins with the proposal of a serious four-word question: “Will you marry me?”

A positive response then launches thousands of questions to navigate together — from venues and colors to cake flavors and what items make the gift registry. But if couples put off planning for the marriage until after the honeymoon, they miss valuable time getting to know the one they’ve chosen to partner with for the rest of their lives.

Jared and I dated for four years, so by most standards we already knew each other pretty well. Yet as our wedding date drew closer, hypothetical questions gained real-life context. The deeper level of commitment we had made through our engagement helped cultivate a safe space not just for wedding planning but also for marriage planning and dreaming of how we wanted to build our life together.

Below are some conversation starters we found helpful as we began planning for our future marriage . As you approach these topics, I encourage you not to limit yourselves to the “what” questions. Leave space to explore the “why” and “what do you mean by…” behind each of your perspectives. This discovery process often unearths experiences and heart needs that may otherwise go unspoken. Searching your hearts and sharing answers to the deeper questions provide rich opportunities to better understand yourselves and each other.

Relationship Check-in

Beyond wedding deadlines and decisions, create regular habits of checking in on how both of you are handling the wedding preparations and how you feel about your future marriage.

• What are you nervous about?
• What are you most excited about?
• What areas of life and teamwork are we excelling at as a couple? Where do you see room to grow?
• How can we consider each other throughout our wedding planning and on our big day?

As believers, personal faith is the first priority in our lives. And as a spouse, the relationship you have with God directly affects your marriage and your family dynamics.

• How would you describe the role God plays in your life right now?
• What role do you want God to play in our life and relationship moving forward?
• What aspects of faith are difficult for you?
• What do you want our children to know about God? How will they learn that about Him by watching the way we live?

Ready to Wed

The engagement season is often full of optimism and dreams for your future marriage. It’s also a significant time to start (or continue) conversations about what you’d like your new combined future to look like in marriage, especially regarding hopes or assumptions for how things will change once you’re wed. Do you expect that he won’t play video games with his friends as often or that she is prepared to stop online shopping to save for the new house? Talk about it.

• What do you see in the way I live right now that you think may need to change in our future?
• What are your goals and how are you currently working toward them? (Use this question to talk about finances, education and career aspirations.)
• What are your perspectives on saving and stewarding finances?
• How do you envision our daily home life, including household responsibilities and parenting roles?

Life Pleasures

Dating life offers a variety of fun experiences. Most date nights don’t center around a trip to the grocery store or cleaning the bathrooms. As you begin planning for your future marriage together, it’s helpful to identify what life pleasures are priorities to each of you so you can plan accordingly.

• What creature comforts are important to you?
• Would you rather spend money on food, clothes, décor or activities?
• What lifestyle choices are most important to you (travel, ideal home, car, generosity)?
• How do you define career success? For example, is a fulfilling job more important than financial success? Would you rather have more free time and less money — or more money and less free time?

Marriage turns you and your spouse into an immediate family. Use this season to plan for how your new priority family unit will change your family relationships and how your family may grow in the future.

• What role do you see our extended families playing in our daily lives in marriage?
• What’s hard or concerning for you about the family dynamics you’re marrying into?
• What family traits, cycles, or traditions would you like to continue in our family and marriage? Are there any you hope to begin instead?
• What dreams do you have for growing our family (including children, pets, timelines and family roles)?

You’ve already talked about many dreams through the questions above. What other dreams remain? Any marriage or spouse-specific dreams?

Reflect on any promises you’ve made to yourself about what your future would or wouldn’t be like. I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t have kids until I reached a specific dollar amount in my bank account. Sharing that inner vow with my husband was helpful in addressing fears I had about our financial future and determining if I wanted to maintain that stipulation before our family could grow. 

• What other dreams or goals haven’t you talked about yet?
• Do you find it hard to dream about your future? Why do you think that is?
• As you consider difficulties from your past, are there any dreams or promises you’ve made to yourself about avoiding these circumstances in the future?
• Sometimes internal promises we make as children or young adults can limit our dreams later in life. Do you have any inner vows holding you back as we approach this new season of life together?

One of the most beautiful things about planning for your future marriage is that you’re not walking into it alone. Not only are you there with your beloved, you likely have other people in your lives who can provide encouragement and counsel along the way. Better still, God offers himself to be the third strand, weaving His presence into your marriage relationship ( Ecclesiastes 4:12 ). What questions have you discussed that you can now bring to Him in prayer? He’s ready as an active participant in this conversation and in all the ones to come.

© 2020, 2024 Jen Weaver. Used with permission.

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About the Author

Jen Weaver is the author of  A Wife’s Secret to Happiness  and is passionate about helping women know the love of Christ and engage in life with Him. She serves as a conference speaker, writer and an associate pastor at Gateway Church.

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Marriage: Looking Forward to the Future

When you are married, you have the special opportunity to look toward the future with anticipation. Sometimes that involves making day-to-day plans, and other times it involves planning something really wonderful for two years from now.

Take time to do the following:

• Plan ahead.
• Discuss your goals.
• Anticipate together.

When you share your life with somebody, there are many things that require you to think ahead. You need to schedule fun activities together, make a budget, anticipate potential difficulties, and decide where to go on vacation. Make sure you set aside time every month for planning these things.

Think Twice

Don't forget to plan ahead for your big goals, such as taking a special vacation or buying a car or a house. Working together toward a particular goal can be extremely satisfying.

You and your spouse have family, personal, and financial goals that you should discuss with each other. It's worthwhile to talk about your goals once or twice a year to make sure that you are doing things today to help you reach your goals. Talking with each other about your goals can help you clarify what they are.

There are so many things that you and your spouse have to look forward to, from celebrating your anniversary to enjoying each other's company during the leisure of your retirement. If you have children, you can also look forward to getting pleasure from their accomplishments. Talk about the events and experiences that you are looking forward to with your spouse. Remember that anticipation is half the fun!

Counting Your Blessings

Your marriage has the potential to be the absolutely best part of your life. If you have begun to implement the ideas from this book, you probably feel closer to your spouse already! Just remember to always communicate with your spouse, be real partners in life, put time and energy into your relationship, be flexible, and commit one hundred percent to your marriage.

Being married is truly a wonderful blessing. You have memories to enjoy and help you through difficult times. You have the chance to enjoy your relationship every day. And you also have the chance to look forward to fun things in the future. Always remember to count your blessings and make the effort to maintain a stable, healthy relationship. Then you will always be able to look over at your spouse and say, “I am the luckiest person in the world to have you in my life!”

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A Letter To My Future Wife About Our Perfect Marriage

By Author Peyton White

Posted on Last updated: May 30, 2023

This is dedicated to my future wife. Oh, how beautiful it is to say those words. It must be the best feeling in the world to call you that.

I don’t know who or where you are, but having the opportunity to call someone ‘my wife’ gives me the sense that I fully belong to someone.

To my wife ,

I want you to be mine forever. It brings me comfort, bliss, and joy when I say those words aloud.

I couldn’t be more grateful that you chose me over any other man and that our love is sealed for the rest of our lives.

I always dreamed of someone saying, “Yes,” to me. It’s something that I have always longed for and I never imagined that it would be you.

The day you gave me your heart and said, “Yes,” was the happiest day of my life.

I still find myself in disbelief that you are the one destined to be with me forever.

Every day, I pray to God to protect you when I’m not able to do so and my heart is filled with happiness and delight.

Without you, I cannot imagine how my life would be. You are the one with whom I realized what it means to have unconditional love.

With you, I learned how to love and what it really means to love someone.

And I do love you, my wife.

Love is such an interesting thing. It brings out the best in people and it gives life new meaning.

It gives you an opportunity to explore yourself without fear of being left alone.

You are not the most important person anymore.

Because of love, another person becomes the reason why you wake up in the morning, and because of that, you want to make them feel good about themselves.

My reason for such a feeling is you. You are my centerpiece and you are my reason to wake up and my reason to sleep.

You give me such comfort that sometimes I’m afraid of what I would do without you.

The purpose of my life has changed. It became you.

To my wife, I want to say that all the other girls I dated were wrong and now I know why. I know you are the right one.

Learning with you every day brings me joy and a sense of fulfillment.

Because of the enormous love that I have for you, I want to tell you that you are my soulmate, my only one, my wife.

I hope we will have a healthy and successful marriage.

I want you to know that having the perfect home or car or a large savings account doesn’t matter so much to me.

They do not constitute a healthy and successful marriage. There are far more important principles that you and I should focus on.

My wife, I hope that our love will be filled with love and commitment.

We have already decided to spend our lifetime together, so for our marriage to be happy and successful, we need to love each other.

Love is just a commitment that you make to another person.

Those explanations and portrayals of love that we see on television are not true, they are fictionalized.

I know I will make you angry, I will make bad decisions, I’m only human after all.

However, what I can promise you is that I will be committed to you forever.

For us to succeed, we need to have love and commitment, as they are at a relationship’s core.

Even if we have ups and downs, both good and bad times, we made our decision to stay committed to each other, and that is what truly matters.

A marriage cannot go well all the time. Our love won’t be easy. There is no love and no marriage which hasn’t experienced bad moments.

Commitment is easy when things are good, but true love is displayed when life throws rocks at you. That’s when you should remain committed.

Being faithful to my wife is more than being physically committed to one person.

It also means to be committed by devoting your eyes, mind, and soul to that one person.

I believe that if we love each other, we will stay faithful. We will devote our mind and body just to each other and we will not sacrifice what we have.

We know that our love is eternal and we know that we are enough for each other.

No other person will ever come between you and me. We will cherish what we have and we will devote our time to fulfilling each other’s needs.

I know that being faithful requires a lot of self-discipline and awareness of the consequences.

However, my wife, I believe that you have that because that’s one of the reasons I chose you.

I refuse to accept that anybody could come between us and I refuse to accept that you would compromise your faithfulness.

Our marriage will have weaknesses, as this is inevitable. The faults are always shown quicker in marriages than relationships.

A healthy marriage requires that you and I accept our flaws, accept that we are not perfect, and ask for forgiveness if we need to.

That’s one of the essential building blocks of a successful and healthy marriage.

You and I should never hold an attitude of superiority because it will only bring resentment and will stop us from moving forward.

We need to show humility. Our marriage will take time.

Everything in life that is good needs time to grow and it needs space. It requires being invested in someone.

Our marriage will be the most intimate and deep relationship that you can have. And to achieve that, it takes more time than in any other relationship.

Also, my wife, for our marriage to succeed, we need to have honesty and trust.

However, as you know, trust takes time. And I will be patient, believe me.

Certain things don’t take time, like being committed and being selfless.

However, trust always takes time. It isn’t something that can be built in a matter of weeks. It takes months or years for someone to truly trust you.

A healthy and successful marriage requires us to have healthy and respectful communication.

We shouldn’t stop talking about our hopes, dreams, or fears, even when we have kids.

We should always be open to talking about what is in our heart and soul, and not just when talking about our kids’ lives.

Communication is the foundation of many things, like commitment, patience, and trust.

I truly believe that we will succeed in all of these things because we have each other.

To my wife, I expect you to…

Express your affection. I might not admit it, but I want you to always express your affection for me.

Sometimes it is hard to express what you want; I know, believe me. However, it is sometimes harder to show that you need to feel that affection.

We men are difficult to read at times. Sometimes, we don’t know what we want and you should be aware of that.

There are times when we crave affection. However, our ego gets in the way and stops us from showing what we truly need.

So, my advice would be to show me that you care about me. I’m not going to deny you love or affection.

I’m not that type of man who rejects the precious things you get from your loved one.

If you show me that you love me, I will definitely cherish that.

I might even compete with you for that – who can better show affection to whom. It will be like a marriage contest between us two.

I’m not going to reject love, especially not from you, my wife, the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life.

I don’t want you to insult me just because you want to motivate me to change. Sometimes you do that.

At times, women think that being harsh to a man will make him be better and change but that’s not the right approach.

It will only lead to rejection and anger and then we will have problems in our marriage.

I want to be a guy who does the best that he can, a guy who does everything that is in his power for our marriage.

I’m lucky that I have found a person who will do the same for me.

There will certainly be tough times, but I’m ready to put all my effort into our love and marriage.

Don’t misunderstand me, but I expect you to show me appreciation and gratitude for this.

I want my efforts to be acknowledged as I’m going to do the same with you.

I believe that you are going to be appreciative of everything that I’m doing for our marriage to work out.

If I fix things around the house or if I take care of the bills, I would like to be appreciated for that.

Other stuff that I sometimes don’t do will come in time, believe me. Maybe I’ll open up about starting to change things that have been missing.

If you respect me, there is nothing that we cannot conquer.

I want assurance that I’m awesome, heroic, and competent. It will only bring us closer together and make our marriage even stronger than it actually is.

Another thing to keep in mind is that I need you to let me be a man. I don’t want to be smothered by you.

If you give me space and the opportunity to be a man, be certain that I will seize it.

I will drop the remote, come out of my cave and hand you my heart; I will commit to you emotionally and I won’t be afraid of losing my masculinity.

Fights will happen and you know that. But the thing is, you need to give me some space.

I don’t want to pressure you for instant conflict resolutions as that will only push me away from you, and that is something I don’t want to happen.

I need time to isolate myself and process my thoughts. Marriage is new to me, and I would like you to allow me to sometimes complain and express myself.

I will eventually come around, but sometimes I need to be heard.

I would like to be accepted by you. Accepted in the sense that this is me and I hope you like me and won’t change me.

I’m an imperfect human being whose only goal is to make you happy and make you smile.

I know that I have flaws. I know that I need to work on them.

But I hope you will still love me for who I am and not try to change me in a way that you deem fit.

I love you for who you are and I would not change a thing about you, unless you thought that those things should be changed.

My wife, I would like you to have patience and understanding with me. There are no rules to follow in marriage and it will have its rough patches.

During those times, I hope that you will stay patient and show understanding because I know you are capable of both.

I hope you will understand that I’m only a human being who is still learning how to behave in marriage.

I will try my best, don’t worry, you just need to have patience with me.

To achieve a happy state in our marriage, we should grow together, which will certainly take time.

It will empower me and give me strength in times when I need it the most.

Along the way, we will encounter shame, anger, depression, and fear.

However, we can conquer anything if we stick together. In togetherness lies our strength.

I want you to never lose the attractiveness that you possess. And I’m not talking about being physically attractive.

I mean the type of attraction that goes beyond the physical, something that is impossible to achieve if a person isn’t ‘the one’. And I know you are.

I want to connect to you in a way where sparks fly and I want you to carry yourself like you did before I married you.

I want you to love yourself, to have a passion for life.

At the end of the day, I want your companionship. I expect that at the end of the day, our love will transcend everything. I want a companion for life.

If we play our cards right, I believe that our love will be eternal.

I want to succeed with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have found my wife, which is pretty rare.

After you arrived, everything fell into place. I know I made the right decision to marry you. You are a mature, emotionally-healthy woman and I love you.

To my wife, I promise you…

To be protective.

Despite having our differences and having fights once in a while, I promise that I will be there for you no matter what the circumstances are.

I was taught from a young age that women are delicate beings.

You should never abuse them in any way possible, but rather be protective. I promise you I will protect you in any situation.

I won’t be the type of guy who won’t stand up for his wife. There are guys who just ignore when someone insults their partner. I won’t be that guy, I promise you that.

I deeply and truly love you and I want to show you that. Actions speak louder than words and I believe that is true.

When someone insults you, that is a sign of disrespect. To support your wife means that you won’t let anyone insult her.

I will show you that I love you by doing just that, protecting you from those who don’t respect you, and I will never tolerate someone’s insult or if someone says any mean jokes about you.

I want everybody to know that I have your back and that I’m on your side because you are my wife.

Another thing that I can promise you is that I will take care of myself physically.

I know that you hate those men who change how they look after they get married, but I won’t be that guy.

I will put effort into my appearance just like you will too. You being comfortable around me is my priority.

Most men tend to neglect their appearance after they become too comfortable with their wife.

One of the reasons why romance disappears in a marriage is because of this – appearance.

The attractiveness seems to disappear and the only thing that is left of the marriage is an empty shell.

I want to make an effort to look good for you.

I know you will appreciate it because you know how bad I am at choosing clothes, but despite that, you know I put in the effort and that will show you how much I love you.

Being married to you isn’t just about us being husband and wife. It means more than that.

We are best friends. Our bond transcends that of an ordinary marriage. You are my partner in crime, my partner in life.

When every single happy thing happens to me, the first person I want to call is you.

You are the one who is the most important person to me.

If something good happens to me, I immediately pick up my phone and call you because you are my dearest and closest friend.

As you are there for me, so I will be there for you.

If you have any issues or problems that need solving, I hope that you will come to me first and I will try my best to solve them with you.

Through thick and thin, you are the one.

I know that you think men are not sensitive beings, but I promise you that I will try my best to show you that I love you.

It will be worth it because you are worth it.

I will move mountains and swim across oceans for you.

I know you love romance, so I will try my best to be a romantic soul.

Those moments when you least expect it, I will shower you with kisses and hug you all day just to show you how much I love you.

On a rainy day, I will make lunch, put on a movie and we will cuddle all day while listening to the sound of the rain outside.

I know that you will appreciate those little acts and I know they will brighten your day.

Just like me, I know you have flaws and faults. As a good husband, I will promise you that I will accept the good and the bad.

I will focus on all the good things about you and ignore the bad ones.

My promise to you is that I will support you with every decision you make.

I won’t laugh at your dreams or hopes because I know that would break your spirit.

I want you to know that even if everyone laughed at you and thought an idea of yours was silly, I will stand by you and support you until the end.

You can achieve anything in this world alone, but I will make it easier for you. You can always count on me.

Someday, when we have kids, I promise you I will be the best father I could possibly be.

I will be there for our children and I will play with them every day. We are in this together and I want you to be proud of me.

My dear wife, I promise you that I will treat you the way I want to be treated, with love and respect.

You are the best thing that happened in my life and you will be protected and your love will be cherished.

I know that we have a lot of work ahead of us, but we are a team. Some might say we are a super team.

I know we will make it work and live happily ever after.

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An Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day Of Your Life

Hello, my future wife.

Whether you are reading this before you meet me, or stumble upon it after, I want you to know a few things.

The reason I am writing this today is because I can’t stop thinking about you, and I can’t stop myself from imagining how happy we will be. Let this letter be a promise to you that I will do my best to be the man I want to be for you.

I may not yet know all of the difficulties that come with a lifetime commitment, but I have enough relationship experience to know what I want and how I picture my life with the person I will commit to: you.

Those around me are a continuous source of education and inspiration on how I want our relationship to be. So here and today, I vow to try my best to do the following:

I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.

I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.

I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you’re surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.

I promise to hold your hand when we’re 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.

I promise to keep you guessing where we’re going next.  I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you -- and myself -- entertained.

I promise to have new stories to share with you, and maybe I’ll retell the best ones again if you insist. Our friendship will continue to grow over the years.

I vow to challenge you to challenge yourself for the better; to make you think differently. I promise to try to feed off of your illuminating energy that will inspire me to do the same with myself. I will do my best to ensure that being bored never crosses your mind.

Even in grief and darkness, I promise to show you the different shades of the dark, and to help you find the tiny rays of light that are always there if you seek them. After all, there’s always worse than worst and better than best; everything is relative.

I promise to kiss you throughout our life together, with the same passion I had the first time I felt my lips on yours. When we kiss, I want it to slow down time -- just you and me engulfed in our feelings.

I promise to play the games you like to play.

I promise to do my best to remain physically attractive for you, and I will do my best to be healthy in order to keep up with our children and grandchildren; someone has got to teach them Muay Thai kickboxing. I’ll train you, too; I want you to know how to fight and defend yourself, just don’t use it against me.

I promise to help you to be healthy, both physically and mentally. I will cook and clean for us. Expect the best breakfast: traditional Armenian tomato and pepper omelets, followed by fruit salad with… well, I can’t give all the secrets out.

I promise to strive to be a role model for our children. I want both you and them to see me as a source of motivation. I want to inspire them in the same way that my father inspires me.

I promise to do my best to love your family as you love them and to be by their side as much as I am by yours.

I promise to always listen to you when you simply just want to be heard; when you want someone to vent to about something or when you want advice.

I will listen to you especially when you don’t feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with anybody else, and to the things you try to tell me when you’re not even speaking. I promise to always listen.

During our life together, I promise to make sure that you feel as though you are the center of the household -- I know you will be -- and I will always try to show my appreciation for you because of that. Being the man of the house is nothing without a woman.

I promise never to let my guard down in taking care of us. I know you won’t be one to be satisfied with the bare minimum.

I promise to do everything that I can for you without taking away from your independence physically, intellectually or emotionally.

I promise to create family traditions and to make sure that your legacy lives forever through our children.

I promise to encapsulate the moment when I realize that I am in the most magnetic, amorous and erotic love with you, not to let that feeling dissipate to the best of my ability and to relive it with you constantly, always.

Sincerely, Your Future Husband

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Seth Bloom, 49, Who Brought Laughter to the Rubble of War, Dies

A virtuoso of physical comedy, he performed around the world with his wife. Most notably, he helped stage clown shows in Afghanistan.

By Michael S. Rosenwald

Seth Bloom, the blue-haired clown and physical comedy virtuoso who helped outreach organizations in Afghanistan and other remote places stage circuses that roused smiles from children while also teaching them important life skills, including how to avoid land mines, died on Aug. 2 in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. He was 49.

Mr. Bloom died by suicide, said his wife, Christina Gelsone, with whom he performed in two-person clown shows around the world, including at the Big Apple Circus in New York City.

Based in Harlem, the duo, who performed as the Acrobuffos , were renowned for “Air Play,” a wordless one-hour show for children and families featuring balloons, giant swatches of silk and Styrofoam packing peanuts that floated around the theater.

Like his purple-haired wife, Mr. Bloom renounced garden-variety clown props — floppy shoes, honking horns, rubber chickens — for artistic comedy that blended physical tomfoolery with music and expressions of curiosity, wonder and love.

“Seth was like a jazz musician of physical comedy and clowning,” said David Kilpatrick, the director of education at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, which staged “Air Play” two years ago in one of its largest theaters. “He was clearly an extraordinary artist who leaned into a kind of connective, communal laughter that was really transformative.”

Mr. Bloom’s career, and his relationship with Ms. Gelsone, began in one of the world’s most humorless and unromantic places: Afghanistan in 2003, during the aftermath of the United States’ overthrow of the Taliban.

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• Student Writing Contest

Follow YES! For Teachers

Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — About Myself — My Life as a College Student: Growth, Challenges, and Future Aspirations

My Life as a College Student: Growth, Challenges, and Future Aspirations

• Categories: About Myself College Students

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Words: 1207 |

Published: Feb 7, 2024

Words: 1207 | Pages: 3 | 7 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, a. background information, b. thesis statement, a. early years, b. family life, c. education, a. high school experience, b. social life, c. personal challenges, a. college selection process, b. challenges and successes, c. extracurricular activities, a. career choices, b. work experience, c. skills acquired, a. relationships, b. hobbies and interests, c. travel experiences, a. personal obstacles, b. professional setbacks, c. lessons learned, a. life lessons, b. future aspirations, c. conclusion, ix. conclusion, a. recap of key points, b. final thoughts, c. call to action.

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Australian Psychological Society. (2018a). Code of ethics. Retrieved from 36-40.

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I was $180K in debt after not learning about money growing up. My kids will learn from my mistakes.

• Growing up, there was little talk about money, and I didn't receive financial literacy education.
• Not understanding the basics of money led to $180,000 in debt.
• Here's how I overcame the debt, built savings, and am creating a financial legacy for my children.

I grew up in an immigrant home where talking about money was a mystery and kind of a taboo topic.

My parents didn't discuss money or talk about their struggles to support me, my two brothers, and my sister. I could see my parents working hard — multiple jobs at times — but I didn't know how they were doing financially.

I was not taught about finances in any of my schools. The only thing I knew about money was that I would need a way to pay my bills.

I got my first job at 15 years old and spent every dollar I made

My first job was on a cleaning crew, and I made minimum wage , but it was a lot of money. At 16, I got a job at Burger King and started to make what felt like "real" money.

With each job and paycheck, I didn't give a second thought to my financial future , to the fact that I should be saving a portion of the money, and that uncontrolled spending was not the best idea.

As an 18-year-old, I got a job at Pepsi, making $60,000 a year, and still had no plan for my money. I did what many American young people do: I got several credit cards, accumulated a lot of debt (over $180,000 at one point), and declared bankruptcy in my 20s when I couldn't pay my bills.

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What made it even harder was that my first son was born when I was 19, followed by my second son and daughter a few years later.

I started a business in my 20s, and it grew quickly. Despite years when I brought home over $150,000, I continued my poor spending and lack of savings.

It wasn't until I reached 30 that I got serious about money.

I remember sitting in my living room looking at a pile of bills, frustrated that I didn't have enough money to pay them, and understanding that my lack of financial literacy would keep me there.

I started to think about how I could earn more money, save for retirement, and what I'd leave my children

I knew I needed to break the pattern and teach my children financial literacy lessons.

I focused on earning more money through my online business and changed my habits. Each morning, I would start by reading a book, listening to a podcast, or watching a YouTube video about money and financial literacy.

I created a budget and kept to it. I started putting aside 20% of each paycheck for savings, and I paid down debt. As I paid down debt, I began investing in the stock market.

I shared the lessons with my children

My saving and investing went into overdrive in my 40s. I've saved and invested significant money and feel good about my future retirement.

I became a stepdad when I married my wife Cindy and inherited three bonus children.

My wife and I agree on the importance of saving, investing, and becoming financially free. We're also committed to teaching those lessons to our children.

I've taught my kids that they don't have to follow my hard path to become smart about money. I've taught them that saving a portion of their paycheck is wise. I've also taught them the importance of having a three — to six-month emergency fund in case of unexpected circumstances.

I've shown my kids that the stock market has historically returned 10% over the last 100 years. Even with a little bit invested each month, that money can grow into a million dollars by the time they reach my age.

The most important lesson I've taught my children is that life is about more than working

But I've also taught them that life should be lived and that money is the instrument that allows them to live life fully.

I've taught my children the importance of financial freedom. A work "optional" life means they can spend their time doing whatever they want without needing a job or business to be their everything.

With enough money saved and invested in the stock market, they could live off a 4% withdrawal and not touch the principal investment.

I've taught them they can achieve financial freedom without needing to time the market or choose individual companies to invest in — they can invest in low-cost index funds, EFTs, and mutual funds.

Financial literacy is critical for parents to teach their children. Finances are not generally taught in schools, so children grow into adults with bad money habits.

Learning good money habits helps children grow up and become financially savvy adults. I continue to teach my children this every day.

Watch: 6 simple investing tips for beginners

• Main content

10-Year Life Plan Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

Educational Plan

Lifestyle plan, works cited.

Planning ten years of my life seems like a kind of challenge now. We can’t predict what will happen to us after several months. However, I believe that great success is impossible without personal motivation and clearly defined goals. Thus, my life plan essay should start with a clear objective.

In ten years, I want to own an event company that can be the best in its field. I have always been fascinated with this idea. The following 10-year life plan essay will consist of three parts that can help me structure my future and achieve all my goals.

I would like to organize great performances at different events every day. Can you imagine a holiday that never ends? And this will be my work. I will make people happier. Now I need to plan all the steps to help me achieve my dream.

The first step of the way of my goal’s achievement is education. My education will be done at the University of Nevada, where I am planning to study hospitality management as a major and event management as a minor. I am sure of the importance of hard study for my future work. I need to get at least a 3.5 GPA. The multiple locations can help me gain a diversified background and extend my knowledge.

Therefore, I want to do some internship while studying. Perhaps, I will visit different countries to explore the modern tendencies of business start and its future development. Swope says: “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: “Try to please everybody” (Swope).

Therefore, I am planning to get experience in different fields because I am sure of their future importance for my business. The examples of some international companies can help me understand how to make my business prosper. To extend my experience, I will start my practice during the study.

I think that education is very important. The lack of knowledge can lead to the business’s incapacity and collapse. Today, the diploma plays a significant role. It gives an appropriate status and respect. A man with a diploma looks more confident and, of course, qualified.

Accreditation provides much more opportunities in life. Therefore, I am planning to study hard and get as much knowledge as possible. I am sure that the university I chose can help me achieve my goals. My education will give me the base for my future business.

It is the most important part of the life plan, which should clarify the goal and approaches to its achievement. Nowadays, the leaders of all companies know the value of settings achievable and understandable goals. Such issues are called smart goals, which need to get better results. These smart ideas help me share my vision of the business with the possible assistants (“Life Planning”).

My attention is turned to the use of certain tools that may help my project. For instance, I need to identify and list all the barriers that may be between me and my goal. I shouldn’t be scared of possible problems because it is an integral part of my future success. Being realistic, I realize all the difficulties I should overcome.

In the beginning, I have to clarify who will be involved in my business. This can be a family company, or I can cooperate with a wide circle of partners. What results do I want to achieve? I want to own a successful company that will be famous around the country.

Choosing the place location, I prefer my native city because it will be easier to find clients and partners. Thinking about these questions, I can clearly understand all the important keys to my goal’s achievement. I will get so many opportunities, so I shouldn’t be lazy in its use (Ashton 8). This is why I think it is the most important period of my life.

My lifestyle should accomplish my educational and professional background and skills. I am planning to do a huge social work and to promote equality among people. I want to help everyone that I can. But I have to learn more from the closest one.

My business will be closely related to people from different communities. Therefore, matching my wants, I should be ready to keep my mind open to different cultural issues and views. I plan to visit many countries to learn about cultural features. This will help in my work with clients.

According to Bukofsky, even my religious and spiritual conditions are very important for my business (34). Family relations also play a huge role in the business success achievement. Life planning is a process that may lead a person to take a more active role and to think about the future. Thinking about my future, I imagine a family that will support me and give me more motivation.

I totally agree with Carlson that “self-actualization is the key to self-help” (9). Although no one can control all life’s events, it is better to try being over random chance and fate.

There is a difference between the person who goes to one’s goal and the man who can easily be influenced by random events. I will structure my life according to the daily plan. This will allow me to follow the main idea, which will lead to success. The life plan is a perfect method to figure out what is really important in life.

I have so many ideas and interests in different fields. I am fascinated by people who can concentrate on the most important idea and follow the plan. However, I should follow my own life plan for the future result. I agree with the statement of Barnett that people should discipline themselves. Following the main idea of life, it is possible to get better results and to make it fast (Barnett).

I have always been a goal-setter. Thereby, my Ten Year Plan is focused on achieving my high ideals and realistic goals. From time to time, it seems that goals are something that we strive to achieve but fail due to personal reasons or social barriers.

However, I am completely sure that a good life plan and motivation can lead to success in spite of all problems that may occur. My Ten Year Life Plan helps me to specify my goals and to see the key moments and the most important steps which can lead me to success.

Ashton, Robert. The Life Plan: 700 Simple Ways to Change Your Life for the Better . 1st ed. UK: Prentice Hall, 2006. Print.

Barnett, John S. Discipline Yourself for Godliness . Tulsa, OK: Mullerhouse Publishing, 2007. Web.

Bykofsky, Sheree, and Richard Carlson. Me: Five Years from Now: The Life-Planning Book You Write Yourself! 1st ed. New York: Hyperion, 1999. Print.

“Life Planning”. myGoals, n.d. Web.

Swope, Herbert. “Failure Quotes.” Wisdom Quotes . Wisdom Quotes. Web.

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IvyPanda . "10-Year Life Plan Essay." July 3, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/ten-year-life-plan/.

Home / Essay Samples / Social Issues / Moving to America / My Past, My Future, And My Present Life Story

My Past, My Future, And My Present Life Story

• Category: Life , Social Issues
• Topic: Father , Immigration in America , Moving to America

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