essay on fight between two friends

Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

Students are often asked to write an essay on Conflicts Between Friends in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

Understanding conflicts.

When friends argue, it’s called a conflict. This happens because people have different ideas and feelings. Just like when you want pizza and your friend wants a burger. It’s normal and can happen to anyone.

Reasons for Arguments

Friends might fight for many reasons. Maybe someone didn’t share, or they broke a promise. Sometimes, one friend might feel left out or jealous. These are common issues that can lead to a disagreement.

Solving the Problem

To fix a fight, friends need to talk and listen to each other. It’s important to say sorry if you hurt your friend’s feelings. By understanding each other, friends can make up and become closer.

Learning from Fights

After a fight, friends can learn how to act better next time. They learn about forgiveness and respect. Remember, making mistakes is okay, but fixing them and moving on is what really counts.

250 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

What are conflicts between friends, why do these conflicts happen.

Conflicts can happen for many reasons. Maybe friends don’t share well, or they get jealous of each other. Sometimes, one friend might feel left out or hurt by what the other said. It’s normal because everyone is different and has their own ideas and feelings.

Can Conflicts Be Good?

Yes, conflicts can be good if friends learn from them. They can talk about what made them upset and understand each other better. This can make their friendship stronger. But, it’s important to fix the conflict by talking and listening, not by yelling or being mean.

How to Fix Conflicts

To fix a conflict, friends should talk to each other calmly. They should say how they feel and listen to what the other has to say. It’s also good to say sorry if you hurt your friend. Sometimes, you might need a break to cool down before talking.

Conflicts between friends are common and can be fixed if handled well. It’s all about understanding and respecting each other. Remember, it’s okay to disagree, but it’s not okay to hurt each other. Friends who work through conflicts can have even stronger friendships.

500 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

When we talk about conflicts between friends, we mean times when friends disagree or get upset with each other. Just like how sometimes you might not want to share your toy with your sibling, friends can also have moments when they don’t see eye to eye. It could be about small things like who gets to use the soccer ball first, or bigger issues like feeling left out of a group.

Why Do Conflicts Happen?

Feelings in conflicts.

When friends fight, they can feel many emotions. You might feel angry if you think your friend was being unfair. Or you might feel sad if you miss playing with them. It’s normal to have these feelings, but it’s important to handle them in a good way.

Talking It Out

One of the best ways to solve a conflict is to talk about it. This means sitting down with your friend and telling them how you feel. It’s important to listen to them, too. They might have feelings that you didn’t know about. When both friends share and listen, they can often find a way to make things better.

Apologizing and Forgiving

Learning from conflicts.

Believe it or not, conflicts can actually help friendships grow stronger. When you work through a problem with a friend, you learn more about each other. You also learn how to solve problems, which is a skill you’ll use your whole life.

When to Get Help

Sometimes, a fight might be too big to handle on your own. If you and your friend can’t stop fighting, it might be time to talk to someone like a teacher or a parent. They can help you understand the problem better and find a way to make peace.

Conflicts between friends are a normal part of life. They can make you feel upset, but they can also be a chance to make your friendship even better. By talking, apologizing, and forgiving, you can solve most problems. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help if you need it. In the end, working through conflicts can teach you important lessons about friendship and about yourself.

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The Trouble with Friends

On a daily basis, I teach kids. By kids, I mean teens to college-age, sometimes mid-twenties. When I started teaching, I was still a kid myself, so I was careful to refer to my students as students, but now I feel a distinct gap. Kids talk a lot about their friends. For any length of time that you allow them, they will bring up this friend and that friend and a birthday party they went to, a concert, a sleepover, a study sesh, another party, the mall, a Starbucks run, the movies, a two-week trip across Asia which they’re planning to take or have taken with friends. Kids don’t usually talk about their families. Sometimes I’m taken completely by surprise when, months into our knowing each other, a student mentions having a twin. I suppose hearing the constant chatter about friends has made me consider my own, and how hard it can be to maintain these bonds as an adult. Mostly, what I notice is attrition: I lose more friends than I make.

An obvious reason for that attrition is marriage. Friends get married and their spouses become their closest friends. My husband is now the person I spend the most time with. Face to face and over text. I tell him everything and anything, because I’m a chronic oversharer and I trust him with my thoughts, however stupid they may be. I used to be the same way with friends, but more and more I check myself. My ten-second rule: write the text but wait ten seconds before sending it; evaluate whether it’s truly vital to pass on this piece of information. When I tell friends something now, I must accept the possibility that they will tell their spouses, with whom I’m friendly but not friends. A friendship is truly strained when you don’t like the spouse. Here is my person, your friend proclaims, flag in the sand, and you must tread carefully. Sometimes this new person is so far removed from what you imagined for your friend that you wonder if you knew your friend at all.

After marriage, any walls that already existed between two friends invariably thicken. A friend who used to discuss things with you simply to work through them stops doing so, and updates you only on definitive good news, never the bad, the ugly, or the in-progress. All of that, you suspect, she saves for her partner. In other words, you’re no longer included in the problem-solving. Of course, some matters belong first to the marriage: the stuff of intimacy, finance, family. To have or not have children. To want children but not be able to have them. Increasingly, my friends leave me out of these big conversations, and vice versa, but when an outcome is certain or a plan set, we do update one another, which reminds us that we’re still, in fact, friends, but also boils the friendship down to a PowerPoint.

If I don’t have kids, I will lose more friends. This is not a hypothesis. It has already started to happen. Friends, during pregnancy, assure you that nothing will change. You contribute to the diaper fund, attend the baby shower, and, once the child arrives, you try to see them, plan for dinner at 2 p.m. , between nap times, but, somehow, something always comes up. Next time, yeah, next time, let’s hang out soon, yeah, soon—but no one proposes a new time, and months go by, years. You never see them again, you never meet the child, and that begs the question of how close you really were. You consider the possibilities. Perhaps you said or did something irrevocably wrong. To avoid ever saying anything about a child that could be misconstrued, I overcompensate. I never bring up the child or ask after it, or, if I do, I make the mistake I just made, and refer to the child as an “it.” A likely scenario is that my friends, as new parents, went down their friend list and crossed people out. Having friends without kids is harder for them to justify. What is our baby going to do at their non-baby-proofed place? And remember that time they referred to our child as an it? An it! But I could be overthinking. Doing what writers do, adding nuances to interactions that aren’t there. A simpler reality is that my former friends just don’t have time for me. Parenting is hard enough without their having to worry about my feelings.

I do greatly appreciate the rare friends who stay with me after kids. We meet, as we used to, at restaurants, bars, shows, or, when child care gets hard to schedule, we meet at their apartment, the office now a nursery, now a toddlers’ room, now a girls’ room, and, throughout dinner, the girls (twins), who are supposed to be in bed, come out, one at a time, sometimes together, to tell us that they would like to be read to, they would like to drink an entire glass of water, they would like to go to the bathroom, they would like new pajamas, they would like chicken nuggets, they would like to have their hair combed, they would like a specific teddy, they would like a hug, a better hug, they would like to see a rainbow, they would like to go to the bathroom again, they would like more water, they would like to know if it’s tomorrow. For the short duration of an evening, I greatly appreciate being part of this.

There’s a Grace Paley story that I think of when I think about how friendships end. A woman named Cassie asks her friend Faith, a writer, why she has written about their other friends but never about her: “You let them in all the time; it’s really strange, why have you left me out of everybody’s life?” Faith doesn’t have a good answer and asks to be forgiven.

Forgive you? [Cassie] laughed. . . . With her hand she turned my face to her so my eyes would look into her eyes. You are my friend, I know that, Faith, but I promise you, I won’t forgive you, she said. From now on, I’ll watch you like a hawk. I do not forgive you.

That final line, which is also the last line of Paley’s “Collected Stories,” strikes me as brutally honest and true. When I have trouble forgiving a friend, my husband says it’s because I go all in. I pour everything into a new friendship, the honeymoon period, the getting to know each other. I have an incurable habit of sending pop-up holiday cards. I’m a big fan of digressive group chats. Here are my deepest, most authentic feelings, friend. Please kindly tell me yours . But when that gesture is not reciprocated, when I sense the wall coming up, I’m so mad at myself for having revealed so much that I withdraw.

Sometimes I ask my students to write about a time when they were blindsided, or an incident that made them take stock. More often than not, they turn in stories about a friend betrayal. In one class, a student mentioned that their parents didn’t have any friends. Around the table, everyone nodded. It seemed that no one’s parents had friends, and my students couldn’t fathom this, couldn’t fathom it when I admitted (foolishly) to having fewer friends in my thirties than I’d had in my twenties. Horror. Pity. I tried to defend myself. More horror. More pity. How could this happen to a person? How could a person let it happen? No, it would not happen to them.

The wonder, and the curse, of friendship is choice. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. For me, common qualities and habits help. Female. About my age. Sense of humor. I would not choose a friend who went out dancing all night on Ecstasy. No offense to dancing or Ecstasy, but in comparison with those things I would be a total bore. I would not choose a friend who had a second home somewhere like the Hamptons or Lake Como or Austria. Of course, it is superficially nice to be invited to garden parties or SoHo lofts, but I don’t want to be the lone Asian woman in that garden wearing a cotton dress and sensible shoes, my only topics of conversation being work, the grind, and not that new art gallery down the street. In other words, the supposed freedom of friend selection goes only so far, and, given how deeply my choices are informed by my background, family, and upbringing, I wonder if they are choices at all.

I’m the only child of immigrants who are not only children but whose siblings and parents stayed in China. I have no cousins here. No aunts, uncles, or grandparents. As a kid, I was distressingly lonely, and, like my students, my younger self placed grave significance on having not just friends but the ability to make them. To befriend was to assimilate and to speak English. To have a friend was to have an ally. I still fear the time when I am alone. Statistics predict that I will outlive my husband, and then what? I get through my last decade texting my friends? Having kids is a solution. I could spend the last decade texting them, or their kids, and getting wrapped up in all that. But I don’t see myself having kids.

I live in a building where the parents are friends because their kids are friends. Hard to say if they would have been friends without the kids, and that makes me wonder if friendship is genuine if the choice to stay connected and on good terms is not entirely a solo one. My husband and I have friends in our building because our dogs are friends. We have a group chat, named after our dogs, with this other couple, and we pet-sit for one another. Our friendship is so rooted in our dogs that, when we ate out together for the first time, dogless, more than a year after we’d started looking after each other’s fur babies, we all felt that it was kind of weird. But then we did it again, and it wasn’t so weird. I used to think that our friendship with this couple was one of convenience, but I don’t think that anymore. Sometimes you have close friends because they are close by and have compatible dogs.

If a friendship is meant to be a give-and-take, an ideal friend should, in theory, give as much as she takes. But this, then, opens the door for the frustratingly fair friend. She weighs every gesture and transaction, splits every bill down to the cent. She remembers every favor, every imbalance of favors. She looks up the price of your birthday gift to her, in order to give you an item of commensurate value. In Chinese, chi kui means “to eat a loss.” This friend will never chi kui , yet is shrewd enough never to seem like she’s taking advantage. Technically, the fair friend is not in the wrong, and if I’m noticing her behavior, then I, too, am guilty of keeping score.

But do I accept the friend who takes more than she gives? The taking is not always tangible. There’s the friend who keeps forgetting her wallet, and then the friend who expects you to be there for her at whatever cost. Inconvenient as it may be for you to step out of class, mute the Zoom screen, get off the subway, this friend is having a crisis and she would like your opinion, even though it’s not an opinion she’ll take; she would still like you to hear and validate her crisis. I’ve never known a crisis friend to have just one crisis, and, before you know it, you’ve read and replied to thousands of texts about her problems, which are all interrelated and endemic, and soon, mired in another emergency that you’re coaching her through, she throws up her hands and announces, “I’ve had it. No one in the world cares about me. I can’t rely on anyone anymore, except myself.” She sighs with profound feeling. You blink, balk. You think, What the fuck have I been doing? What the fuckity fuck has every conversation we’ve ever had been for? Then you realize that what your friend wanted from you is a mother, and, when you couldn’t measure up, you, too, became part of the cold, unfeeling world.

Inverting the dynamic completely is the friend who wants to be your mother. She demands to be relied on, to be your “go-to.” She remembers your birthday, your pets’ birthdays, your wedding anniversary, when you moved to the city, when you plan to go upstate—“about that time, isn’t it?” She knows you. Or thinks she does. She’s the first to like your photos, your tweets, the first to give you the name of a C.P.A., a dentist, a real-estate agent, a doctor (her C.P.A., her dentist, her real-estate agent, her doctor), and for a very long time this feels supportive, until it feels intrusive and like surveillance and not nurturing at all but a show of control. When you seek out your mothering friend in your low moments, you feed her ego. She wants to help, but above all she wants credit for helping you, and she relishes the flex. Whenever you ask after her well-being, she pronounces herself emphatically “great.” You try to poke around more, you sense that she isn’t as well as she claims, and, without fail, she adds, “No, really, I’m great, super, but how about you? You seem stressed. Anything I can do?” How to handle such a question? Do you say, “Yes, please deliver the chicken soup” (which she would gladly do), or do you feel bad for always being the broken one?

I already have a mother, with whom I have a complex, routinely difficult, and uniquely volatile bond that would take over this essay and any story I ever write, should I let it. I don’t need another mother. So I learn to interact with these friends less. I offer up less of my life. I’m great, too, super, never better. I recognize that to question the motives behind a friend’s support is both paranoid and ungrateful. But I worry that if my vulnerability fuels her vanity, then an inherent rivalry exists between us—one that I want no part in—over who is the better friend. I am certainly not the better friend. I can’t remember everyone’s important dates and be there for everything and like every comment within thirty seconds of its existence, and I definitely don’t want to be my friend’s mother. So, if I’m not the better friend, then I’m the worse friend. I’m the one who takes more than I can give.

All this to say that friends grow apart. Commonalities change. Common habits diverge. Qualities that you didn’t much like in a friend amplify, and your own traits, priorities, shift. A friendship is not stagnant, and growing together is usually not the norm. It’s nice to have writer friends, but then all you talk about is writing and how insane you have to be to do it. Nice to have friends with other jobs, but then all you hear about is their work, which you might not understand or care about. Work colleagues can never be true friends, and neither can one’s students. A fake friend is easy to spot, and even easier is the friend or acquaintance who, after a long period of no contact, emerges from literally nowhere with the message Hey! Just saw you published a book! Here’s a picture of that book in a bookstore. Let’s grab coffee and catch up .

Platitudes: A true friend is someone you can be your true self with. A true friend calls you out on your bullshit. A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin. But is any of that really possible or fair? How well do I tolerate being called out on my bullshit, and how comfortable am I now at calling other people out on theirs? Can a true friend stay with you forever, or, a better question, can a friend stay true to you forever? Is Cassie a true friend to Faith?

What my students say: Friendship is a gift, a sacrifice. Friendship is all about timing and who you are at that moment and what you need. My students are always living for the moment, and they have strong opinions about what it means to be a good, true friend. When I was in college, my friend circle was wide and healthy. Thanks to clubs, class, lab, and Harvard’s housing system—“the blocking group,” wherein, at the end of freshman year, you choose up to seven people you are close to, your “block-mates,” and are then sorted into a house with them and live with them for the next three years. To entangle matters even more, your blocking group can link with another group to sort into the same house, and those in the latter group become your “link-mates.” Should you not have a group and have to sort on your own, you’re called a “floater.” These terms were fun to use at the time but are now glaring reminders of how successful my alma mater is at institutionalized friendship. Institutionalized to then build a strong alumni network, which donates large sums back to the nest where the camaraderie began. By the end of senior year, my blocking group, a collection of misfits, had toppled. There was so much politics in my lab, given the constant pressure to publish, and my friends in clubs were already moving on to bigger, better things, like med school, law school, or jobs in the real world. I don’t think my experience was unique. You have friends for the period that you have them for, and that period ends.

I know that a friendship has cooled when I find myself asking, Would we be friends if we met today? I used to think “cooled” meant “over.” In the words of that pop icon my students are obsessed with, we are never, ever getting back together. But “cooled” does not necessarily mean “severed.” Though friends are not family and are not obligated to stay with me, they have accompanied me for part of the journey, and for that I owe them, I owe us, the chance, at some future point, to fortify the bond again.

According to the sociology of group dynamics, a triad is more stable than a dyad because one member can act as a mediator. An example is a doctor, a patient, and a cultural liaison. But I have never found a triad of friends to work as well as, say, a tetrad, and especially a tetrad made up of two couples. In a triad, two people are always closer and risk icing out the third. The exclusion is not usually intentional, but the ousted person always feels that it is, somehow. And what if no one wants to mediate, or the person who mediates also likes power, likes games? I’ve had triads of friends begin, then fail, and, when the final calamity hits, I think of the dumping of water into a nuclear reactor and then of Yeats’s “widening gyre”: “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.” My preference for tetrads makes sense only because of my husband. He has been, for me, an ally, a cheerleader, and my first reader, and we have, thus far, a happy marriage. Along the way, we’ve made couple friends as a couple, and I’ve discovered that the tetrad works only when every possible combination of two members does.

There are only a few couples with whom this holds true for us, and there is only one tetrad that we have tested through long periods together and international travel. I evoke my closest childhood friend here, a girl I’ve known since fifth grade. Let’s call her Diana. We have not always been so close. In middle school, she moved away, then my family moved to the city she had moved to, but although we went to the same high school, our social circles rarely overlapped. Still, from middle school on, Diana and I were part of a triad. I was extremely close with the third girl, as we were both immigrant children, from China, and lived in similarly shabby apartment complexes across the street from each other in the rural Midwestern town where the three of us met. The third girl and I often iced out Diana. Together, we were mean. A few years out of college, that girl and I had a huge fight by text on my birthday. (Lesson learned: when friends decide to burn it all down, they don’t care if it’s your birthday because they’ve stopped caring about you.) A litany of grievances was aired and contested, and no one was generous enough to get on the phone. We haven’t spoken since.

By chance, Diana went to college and grad school in the same city as I did. As the triad imploded—she tried to mediate, negotiations failed—I vented to her about it, and, eventually, I stopped venting and she and I became close. She met my husband when he was still my boyfriend. I saw her through her breakup with her high-school sweetheart, a boy who was also a friend of mine, with whom I have since fallen out of touch. By the end of grad school, Diana had found a new boyfriend, who would later become her husband, in a wedding that was delayed three years by the pandemic. Her husband and I get along. My husband and Diana get along. Our husbands have inside jokes with each other, and we buy them matching backpacks to wear when we go on trips. I think the fact that Diana and I are both married has actually made our friendship stronger. That we make a point of travelling together, as a tetrad, at least once a year has taught me that a long friendship has to be maintained. So does family, but, unlike family, a friendship can be deprioritized. My mother will always be my mother, and I will always have space for her, but that’s not how it works with friends. I can choose to take my heart away.

Diana and I and our husbands have now travelled to Europe a few times. No fights, no drama, except the comedic kind. In Paris, Diana was tricked, by her husband and mine, into knocking back a wineglass that had a dead fly in it. In London, at the Harry Potter Warner Bros. Studios, in the Great Hall decked out for the Yule Ball (Diana is a Harry Potter fanatic), her husband—still her boyfriend then—was set to propose, but we couldn’t figure out how to open the “snitch” ring box and we couldn’t get the ring out. In Europe, trains have four seats facing one another. When Diana and her husband and my husband have fallen asleep, and I’m the only one awake guarding our stuff and checking the stops, I think, Why is it always me who stays awake? I also think, I never want this to change.

I chose the name Diana for my friend in tribute to Diana Barry, the best friend of the “Anne of Green Gables” books, by Lucy Maud Montgomery—a series that had an enormous impact on me. They were the first novels I read from beginning to end in English, and I distinctly remember having to look up the term “kindred spirits.” Anne is an orphan who then finds great friends and thrives. A lot of children’s books have this trajectory. See also: Harry Potter.

A final anecdote: the building that I live in houses both faculty and students. Often, I smell weed in the stairwells. Every weekend of the school year, students, never dressed for the weather, are just leaving to go out as my husband and I are coming back in. Sometimes I can’t even move through the lobby, because, when there’s a party in the building, every student is trying to sign in three others. Faculty and students share the common spaces, the laundry room, the elevators. It is very awkward to bump into familiar students while you are removing your underwear from the dryer or while they are removing theirs. A terrible arrangement, I tell people. Mixing students and teachers. But here is something that happened the other day while I was writing this essay. From the lobby, I entered the elevator with my dog. A pair of summer students came in, too, with their suitcases and totes, and my dog and I were pushed into a corner. I was annoyed that summer students were already moving in, less than two weeks after the regular ones had left. I imagined more weed, more parties, full washers and dryers, rank trash drips in the hallways for workers to clean up. Then the two students started talking about their afternoon plans. Today, they were going to go to Central Park, sit on a blanket, make friendship bracelets, and braid each other’s hair. They were earnest. I heard no sarcasm. An interloper to this casual, wholesome moment, I was reminded that, though most friendships are temporary, they are very beautiful in bloom. The friends left the elevator laughing, tote bag to tote bag. All my annoyance went away. ♦

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EVENTS & ENTERTAINING

Food & drink, relationships & family, about conflict between you & your friend, more articles.

• The Effects of Lack of Communication in a Relationship
• What to Do When a Friend Tells You She's Not Your Friend Anymore

Responsibilities of a Friend

Signs of a Broken Heart

• How Children Are Affected When Living With Alcoholics or Addicts

Friendships are important at every stage in life. Although friends can positively affect your emotional well-being and social development, conflict with friends is often a source of stress and frustration. How you manage disagreements with your friends influences the quality of the friendship. Understanding the components of a good friendship and developing skills for maintenance of and conflict resolution in a friendship can help you avoid frequent arguments and resolve conflicts when they do occur.

Reasons for Conflict

There are many reasons that conflict may arise between you and your friend. Common examples are jealousy, poor communication skills, lack of consideration and/or respect, different principles or outlooks on life and one friend contributing more to the relationship than the other. Arguments or conflict may result from experiencing a bad day or other issues that have nothing to do with the actual friendship. In adolescence, fluctuating emotions and hormones can lead to angry exchanges.

Conflict Resolution

Communication and empathy are important skills for resolving conflicts. Tips for getting past disagreements are listening to your friend's opinions and concerns, showing respect for each other and avoiding angry or overly emotional exchanges while attempting to communicate. These behaviors show that you care about your friend and value the relationship. Engaging in and resolving conflict can actually bring you and your friend closer together.

Consequences of Conflict

The stress that results from conflict with a friend can negatively affect you physically and emotionally. A study published in the "Journal of Family Psychology" found that conflicts among teenage friends can contribute to failure in school, withdrawal and delinquency. Other side effects of conflict for all age groups are anxiety, depression, difficulty with other interpersonal relationships and loss of the friendship. It is important to move past conflict so that your friendship can continue.

Tips for Avoidance

Conflict will arise from time to time in any friendship, but you may be able to limit its frequency by following some suggestions. The Mayo Clinic presents tips for nurturing a healthy friendship such as avoid competition, limit complaints and negativity, respect your friend's privacy and refrain from judging your friend. Although disagreements are bound to occur, refrain from engaging in unnecessary conflict to help foster strong friendships.

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• Mayo Clinic: Friendships: Enrich Your Life and Improve Your Health
• TeensHealth: 5 Ways to (Respectfully) Disagree

Ayra Moore is a professional writer who holds a Masters of Science in forensic psychology with a specialty in mental health applications. She also obtained a Bachelor of Arts in general psychology and criminal justice from Georgia State University. Moore worked for two years with at-risk teenagers in a therapeutic setting.

Photo Credits

Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images

Confronting Conflict With Friends

Difficult conversations are sometimes necessary..

Posted November 1, 2017 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

It can be difficult for some of us to get up the courage to confront a relationship issue, so it is important for these individuals to remember that friendships are relationships of choice, unlike family relationships that are relationships by blood or law. For most of us, this implies an expectation of some level of reciprocity in the relationship, and when you feel like you are being consistently shortchanged, remind yourself that it’s OK to share your feelings with your friend.

When you decide that it is time to address the friendship , some basic rules of communication and conflict mediation should be in place:

• Let your friend know that you would like to have a discussion about the relationship. No one likes having this kind of conversation “sprung on them,” so give your friend some advance notice.
• Choose a time and place that is agreeable for both of you and be sure to choose as neutral a place as you can. You might feel awkward sitting on her couch and drinking her wine when you are trying to address feelings that she isn’t as invested in the relationship as you feel you are, for instance.
• If you choose a more public place, like a park or restaurant or coffee shop, it’s also likely to keep the conversation more genial and less likely to result in strong emotional responses, whether it would be raised voices or tearful outbursts.
• An important reminder: Throughout the course of a friendship, always own your feelings. If it’s not OK that she always cancels out on plans after you’ve already picked up the babysitter, don’t spend months seething inside while telling her, “It’s OK, I understand. Maybe next time will work.” If you save up all your frustration over time, it’s likely to get the best of you once you finally get the courage to share your feelings!
• Listen to what your friend has to say once you’ve opened up your own concerns. She may not have realized the effect she was having on the relationship.
• Work towards a compromise. Unfortunately, some people believe that a compromise means a “lose/lose situation” because each person has to concede something. While this is true, every healthy relationship usually involves compromise and adjusting to others’ needs or wants. Friendships are no different. For a relationship to thrive, it takes two to make it work. Be willing to “give a little” in order to allow your friend to “get a little.”
• If your friend is not buying into your perspective, you may want to take a step back and see if your own assessment is as objective as it should be. If you reach a stalemate, you will need to decide if the friendship’s value is high enough to accept the relationship’s limitations.
• Remember, too, that there are always going to be multiple realities at play. What you see and believe is your reality but the same is true for your friend.

If the “real issue” is a problem behavior: she drinks too much, parties too hard, is always needing to borrow money or some other challenging behavioral issue, and she has no interest in changing, you need to recognize that your wishes won't make changes happen. You can change no one but yourself. Not everyone wants to be what others want them to be and you may have to decide when it’s time to draw the line and walk away.

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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Ways to Resolve Conflict with a Friend

Friendship is a precious bond that can bring joy, laughter, and support to our lives. However, like any relationship, friendships can also experience conflicts and disagreements. Conflict is a natural part of human interaction, and it’s important to learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner, especially when it involves a close friend. In this blog, we will explore some effective ways to resolve conflicts with a friend, including the benefits of social skills training with SocialSkillsCenter.com.

• Open and Honest Communication: Communication is key to resolving conflicts with a friend. It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid using accusatory language or attacking your friend, as this can escalate the conflict further. Instead, use “I” statements to express how you feel, such as “I feel hurt when you don’t include me in your plans” or “I’m frustrated because I feel like you’re not listening to me.” This allows your friend to understand your perspective without feeling attacked, and it can create a safe space for open and honest communication.
• Active Listening: Listening is an essential part of effective communication. When your friend is expressing their thoughts and feelings, make sure to give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or thinking about your response while they speak. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and validating their feelings. Repeat what they’ve said to ensure that you’ve understood them correctly. This shows respect and empathy toward your friend’s point of view, which can help defuse the conflict.
• Find Common Ground: In the midst of a conflict, it’s easy to get caught up in our differences and disagreements. However, finding common ground can be a powerful way to resolve conflicts with a friend. Look for areas where you both agree, and build upon them. This can create a sense of shared understanding and help you find a solution that benefits both parties. For example, if you’re arguing about where to go for dinner, focus on the types of cuisine you both enjoy and try to find a restaurant that offers those options.
• Practice Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a crucial social skill for resolving conflicts. Try to see the situation from your friend’s perspective. Consider their emotions, experiences, and background. This can help you understand why they might be feeling or reacting the way they are, and it can create a sense of understanding and compassion. When you express empathy toward your friend, it can help validate their feelings and build a bridge to resolution.
• Take Responsibility: Conflict often arises from misunderstandings or miscommunication. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge any ways you’ve contributed to the conflict. This doesn’t mean taking all the blame, but rather recognizing your part in the conflict and being willing to make amends. Apologize sincerely if you’ve hurt your friend’s feelings, and express your willingness to work toward a resolution. Taking responsibility for your actions can show maturity and accountability, and it can pave the way for a resolution.
• Seek a Neutral Mediator: If you find it difficult to resolve the conflict on your own, consider seeking the help of a neutral mediator. A mediator is a third party who can facilitate communication and help you find a solution that satisfies both parties. This can be a trusted mutual friend, a counselor, or a professional mediator. Mediators are trained to remain impartial and provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts. They can help create a safe space for communication and provide strategies for finding common ground and resolving the conflict in a constructive manner.
• Take a Break to Cool Off: In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean or to act impulsively. If you find that the conflict is escalating and emotions are running high, it’s okay to take a break and give yourself and your friend some time to cool off. Stepping away from the situation can allow you to gain perspective and come back with a calmer mindset. During the break, try to engage in self-care activities that help you relax and destress, such as going for a walk, meditating, or talking to a trusted confidant. When you and your friend are both in a more relaxed state, it can be easier to approach the conflict with a clear mind and a willingness to resolve it.
• Brainstorm Solutions Together: Conflict resolution is about finding a solution that works for both parties. Once you’ve communicated openly, listened to each other’s perspectives, and found common ground, it’s time to brainstorm potential solutions together. Be open to each other’s ideas and suggestions for creative solutions that meet both of your needs. Avoid being rigid or stubborn, and be willing to compromise. Remember that the goal is not to “win” the argument but to find a resolution that preserves the friendship and promotes a healthy relationship.
• Follow Up and Follow Through: Resolving a conflict doesn’t end with a single conversation. It’s important to follow up and follow through on the solutions and agreements that you’ve reached with your friend. Check-in with each other after some time to see how things are going and if any adjustments need to be made. Hold each other accountable for the commitments that you’ve made toward resolving the conflict. This shows that you’re invested in maintaining the friendship and that you’re committed to working through any issues that may arise in the future.

Benefits of Social Skills Training with the Social Skills Center

In addition to the strategies mentioned above, social skills training can be a valuable resource in resolving conflicts with friends. The Social Skills Center is an online platform that offers comprehensive social skills training programs for individuals of all ages, including adolescents in high school. Here are some benefits of social skills training in the context of resolving conflicts with friends:

• Improved Communication Skills: Effective communication is crucial in resolving conflicts, and social skills training can help individuals develop better communication Through social skills training, individuals can learn how to express themselves clearly, listen actively, and use respectful language, which can enhance their ability to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner.
• Increased Empathy and Perspective-Taking: Social skills training often includes exercises and activities that promote empathy and perspective-taking. These skills can help individuals understand and appreciate different perspectives, which can be valuable in resolving conflicts with friends. Being able to see the situation from the other person’s point of view and showing empathy toward their feelings and experiences can create a more conducive environment for conflict resolution.
• Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Conflict resolution often requires creative problem-solving. Social skills training can provide individuals with strategies and techniques to effectively identify problems, generate solutions, and evaluate the pros and cons of different options. These problem-solving skills can be applied to conflicts with friends, helping individuals find solutions that meet all parties’ needs and result in a win-win outcome.
• Increased Self-Awareness: Social skills training can also promote self-awareness, which is essential in resolving conflicts. Through self-reflection and self-assessment exercises, individuals can gain a better understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as their impact on others. This self-awareness can help individuals to identify any triggers or patterns that contribute to conflicts and to take steps to manage them effectively.
• Strengthened Relationships: Social skills training can ultimately lead to strengthened relationships, including friendships. When individuals develop better communication skills, empathy, perspective-taking, problem-solving skills, and self-awareness through social skills training, they are better equipped to navigate conflicts and resolve them in a healthy and constructive manner. This can lead to stronger and more resilient friendships; conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how we handle them can make all the difference in maintaining a healthy and positive connection with our friends.

The Social Skills Center is an excellent resource for individuals looking to improve their social skills and enhance their conflict resolution abilities. Their comprehensive social skills training programs are designed to cater to the unique needs of adolescents in high school, providing them with the necessary tools and techniques to navigate various social situations, including conflicts with friends. The online platform offers a user-friendly interface, interactive activities, and practical strategies that can be applied in real-life situations.

Conflicts with friends are a normal part of human relationships, and they can be resolved in a healthy and constructive manner with effective communication, active listening, empathy, perspective-taking, problem-solving skills, and self-awareness. By following the strategies outlined in this blog and considering social skills training with the Social Skills Center, individuals can develop the necessary skills to navigate conflicts and maintain healthy friendships. Remember that conflict can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and strengthening relationships. With open-mindedness, patience, and a willingness to work through differences, conflicts can be resolved, and friendships can flourish. So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict with a friend, take a step back, reflect on these strategies, and approach the situation with a positive and proactive mindset. Happy resolving!

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• Writing Essay on Friendship: 3 Samples to Get Inspired

When in school or college, you won’t escape the task of writing an essay on friendship. It’s a paper revealing the power of having friends and reflecting on the corresponding values.

It seems easy to write. You craft a narrative about your mates, explaining what they mean to you. And yet, it’s an academic paper. So, some rules are still here on how to structure and format it.

In this article, you’ll find three samples of different essays on friendship. Feel free to use them to get inspired and better understand this paper’s nature and purpose.

Let’s answer all the questions related to friendship essays together!

What Is an Essay on Friendship?

First, the definition:

An essay on friendship is a short academic paper students write to express their thoughts and reflections on the topic.

The purpose is to:

• explore the phenomenon;
• understand what it means to you;
• realize the significance of having close people nearby;
• reveal the pros and cons of committing to a friendship;
• reflect on how friendship can help our wellness.

Friendship essays aren’t about “my friends and I” topics only. You can write about the role of friendship for mental health, craft an expository essay explaining the topic, or build a reflective essay on what friendship means to you.

Friendship Essay Structure

Friendship essays have a standard structure of academic papers. They are short and consist of three parts:

• Introduction about friendship
• Paragraph about friendship
• Friendship essay conclusion

In the intro, you start with an attention grabber. Feel free to use a quote, a surprising fact, or an anecdote. Introduce the topic and finish with thesis statements about friendship.

In a friendship paragraph, you support a thesis with facts, evidence, personal stories, etc. As a rule, essay bodies have three paragraphs minimum. So you can devote each paragraph to one aspect :

• Definition of this concept 
• Why having friends is essential
• What a friend can give you
• Types of friendship  
• Challenges mates meet on their way  
• Characteristics of a good friend  
• How to strengthen a friendship, etc. 

In the essay body, you can use stories and examples from your life to illustrate points. Tell about your friends and share personal thoughts — it will make your paper more compelling to read.

In the concluding paragraph, sum up the points and restate your thesis. Finish on a positive note, leaving readers with the food for thought.

Easier said than done, huh?

Below are three samples of friendship essays for you to see what they look like and how they sound.

3 Samples to Help You Write an Essay About Friendship

While Ralph Waldo Emerson friendship essay (1) is the top example of the paper on this topic, we’ll go further and provide several NEW samples.

Please check:

Short Essay on Friendship

This sample is perfect for high school students. As a rule, teachers ask them to write 150-200-word essays. The task is to describe concepts or things the way they understand them.

Narrative Essay on Friendship

Narrative essays are more about personal stories. Here, you can tell about your friends, include dialogues , and sound less academic.

500 Words Essay Sample on Importance of Friendship

Over to You

Now, you have three samples and know how to structure this paper. Ready to write yours?

Let’s begin with the “Why is friendship important?” essay — and you’ll see that it’s not super challenging to craft. Be honest, share your thoughts, and don’t hesitate to write personal reflections on the topic.

Still don’t know how to start your essay on friendship? Our writers are here to help. 

References:

• https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/friendship.html
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Secondary Classrooms 10 Meaningful Friendship and Conflict Stories for Students

Allie Liotta

These ten texts will teach students about friendship and conflict in relationships!

Adolescence is a time of change. As kids get older, they may find their friendships change with them. Reading about kids dealing with conflict from moving to a new town, navigating peer pressure, or feeling left out of social events can help students gain perspective on these issues and realize they are not alone in dealing with them.

Here is an excellent selection of ten multi-genre conflict stories for students in middle and high school from CommonLit!

“ We Have Been Friends Together ” by Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton (6th Grade)

In this poem, the speaker describes a conflict that arises in a friendship. The speaker talks about the relationship, which began when both people were very young, and she remarks on the joys and struggles they have overcome together before their falling out. This text is an excellent introduction to poetry with a subject many students can relate to! Students can discuss what small words or actions they think could undo a long friendship.

“ My Lucy Friend Who Smells Like Corn ” by Sandra Cisneros (7th Grade)

In this classic short text about friendship by renowned Chicana author Sandra Cisneros, the narrator describes her friendship with Lucy Anguiano. Written in the voice of a young girl, this story is sure to remind students of their friends who feel close enough to be family. Challenge your students to write a similar short story about one of their own friends!

“ The Party ” by Pam Muñoz Ryan (7th Grade)

In this short story about conflict for students, the narrator deals with not being invited to a popular girl’s birthday party when most of her friends are. This is a great text for talking about how the desire to be accepted can make us behave differently, and what really counts in a genuine friendship. Have students track how the narrator’s feelings towards Bridget and going to the party change over the course of the story to start a discussion about what it truly means to be a friend.

“ Old Games, New Territory ” by Khat Patrong (7th Grade)

This engaging CommonLit Original conflict resolution short story for students follows Rashid as he tries to adjust to his new life in Florida after a loss forces him to move. A game of basketball gets ugly when a talented player named Gigi joins in and Rachid is injured when trying to defend her. The pair form an unlikely friendship as Rashid discovers the two have a lot more in common than he realizes. Have students make text-to-self connections by discussing how they might have reacted in Rachid’s position, and what they might have done differently.

“ Amigo Brothers ” by Piri Thomas (7th Grade)

Competition can bring friends closer, or push them apart. In this short story about conflict between friends, students will read about how friends Antonio Cruz and Felix Vargas prepare for the boxing match of their lives as they struggle to reconcile their dreams with their friendship. They have grown up together, trained together, and now they must face each other in the ring. Your student athletes will relate deeply to this text!

“ Momentum ” by Catherine Doty (7th Grade)

In this poem by Catherine Doty, the speaker describes the consequences of doing something reckless in order to impress a group of friends. The bold imagery and free verse structure create tension in this poem, which can be used to talk about what happens when peer pressure goes awry. Students can annotate passages they find particularly important or moving in this story about conflict between friends.

“ The Stolen Party ” by Liliana Heker (7th Grade)

In this short conflict story for students, Rosaura attends a birthday party for Luciana, a girl for whose family Rosaura’s mother is employed as a maid. Despite her mother’s misgivings, Rosaura gets her wish to go, only to discover that Luciana does not actually see her as a friend. This story provides a great opportunity to discuss how social class differences can be a source of conflict within friendships, as well as family relationships.

“ More Facebook Friends, Fewer Real Ones, Says Cornell Study ” by ABC News (8th Grade)

This news article discusses findings of a Cornell study which showed that although people had greater friend numbers on social media, such as Facebook, they had fewer close friends to support them in real life. Study participants said they had, on average, fewer close friends as compared to a similar study done in 1985. However, the article does also acknowledge that social media is not entirely a negative influence. Use this text to spark debate among students: do they think social media has made them feel more or less connected to their peers? Why or why not?

“ Going to School As A Refugee ” by Caroline Garrison (8th Grade)

In this informational text about friendship, students will read about how two refugee children navigate classes, social life, and learning English as a second language as they attend an American public school. Although students SB and Salomon discuss difficulties with exclusion and prejudice from other students in this new environment, they find common ground in their experience as refugees despite having very different backgrounds. Use this text to highlight the importance of community and foster class discussion about how friends help us to overcome challenges in school.

“ Help-Giving ” by Set to Go (9th Grade)

This informational article examines a set of skills we develop as we move into adolescence: “help-giving.” Help-giving is all about how we help others. It is an important responsibility that includes skills like identifying that peers might be struggling, actively listening and communicating with others, and identifying how and when to take action should one of their friends need professional help. Use this text about friendship to spark conversation about when it’s important to seek help for a friend, and why it might be difficult for them to reach out.

Looking for more secondary texts or text sets on CommonLit? Browse the CommonLit Library !

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Friday essay: on the ending of a friendship

Emeritus Professor of Creative writing, The University of Melbourne

Disclosure statement

Kevin John Brophy does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

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Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally.

• Simone Weil

About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more than 40 years. It would be the last time we would see each other and by the end of that evening I was deeply shaken. But more lasting and more unsettling than this has been the feeling of loss without his friendship. It was a sudden ending but it was also an ending that lasted for me well beyond that evening. I have worried since then at what kind of friend I am to my friends, and why a friendship can suddenly self-destruct while others can so unexpectedly bloom.

My friend and I were used to going to dinner together, though it had become an increasingly tricky matter for us. We had been seeing each other more infrequently, and our conversations had been tending towards repetition. I still enjoyed his passion for talk, his willingness to be puzzled by life’s events, our comically growing list of minor ailments as we entered our sixties, and the old stories he fell back on — usually stories of his minor triumphs, such as the time his car burst into fire, was declared a write-off by insurance, and ended in an auction house where he bought it back with part of the insurance payout and only minor repairs to be made. There were stories of his time as a barman in one of Melbourne’s roughest pubs. I suppose in a lot of long-lasting friendships it is these repeated stories of the past that can fill the present so richly.

Nevertheless, both his opinions and mine seemed to have become too predictable. Even his desire to come up with the most unpredictable viewpoint on any problem was a routine I expected from him. Each of us knew the weaknesses in the other’s thinking, and we had learned not to go too far with some topics, which were of course the most interesting and important ones.

He knew how politically correct I could be, and shrewdly enough he had no time for my self-righteousness, the predictability of my views on gender, race and climate. I understood this. He knew too that his fiercely independent thinking was often just the usual rant against greenies or lefties. Something had begun to fail in our friendship, but I could not properly perceive this or speak of it.

We were a contrasting pair. He was a big man with an aggressive edge to his gregarious nature, while I was lean, short and physically slight next to him, a much more reserved person altogether. I liked his size because big men have been protective figures in my life. At times when I felt threatened I would ask him to come with me to a meeting or a transaction, and just stand next to me in his big way. During one long period of trouble with our neighbours he would visit when the tension was high to show his formidable presence and his solidarity with us.

I was always reading and knew how to talk books, while he was too restless to read much. He knew how to sing, bursting into song occasionally when we were together. He had been unable to work professionally since a breakdown that was both physical and mental. By contrast, I was working steadily, never quite as free with my time as he was.

Nearly two years before our last dinner together his wife had suddenly left him. As it turned out, she had been planning her departure for some time, but when she went he was taken by surprise. I saw a more confused and fragile side of him during those months when we would meet and talk through how he was dealing with their counselling sessions, and then how the negotiations were proceeding over belongings and finally the family house. He was learning to live alone for the first time since he had been a young man, and was exploring what it might be like to seek out new relationships.

Read more: Research Check: is it true only half your friends actually like you?

A safe haven

We had met when I was a first-year university student boarding at my grandmother’s home in an inner Melbourne suburb. I was studying for a Bachelor of Arts, staying up through the nights, discovering literature, music, history, cask wine, dope, girls and ideas.

He lived in a flat a few doors away in a street behind my grandmother’s place, and I remember it was the local parish youth group, or the remnants of one, that used to meet in his flat. In my friend’s flat we would lie around the floor, half a dozen of us, drinking, flirting, arguing about religion or politics until the night was strung out in our heads, tight and thin and vibrating with possibilities. I loved that sudden intimate and intellectually rich contact with people my own age.

My friend and I started up a coffee lounge in an old disused shopfront as a meeting place for youth who would otherwise be on the street. I was the one who became immersed in the chaotic life of the place as students, musicians, misfits, hopeful poets and petty criminals floated through the shop, while my friend kept his eye on the broader picture that involved real estate agents, local councils, supplies of coffee, income and expenditure.

Perhaps the experience helped delay my own adulthood, allowing me time to try out a bohemian, communal alternative lifestyle that was so important to some of us in the early 1970s. My friend, though, was soon married. It was as if he had been living a parallel life outside our friendship, outside the youth group, coffee shop, jug band, drugs and misadventures of our project.

This did not break us up, and in fact after his marriage he became another kind of friend. I was at times struggling to find some steady sense of myself. Sometimes in those years I would not be able to talk or even be near others, and I remember once when I felt like this I went to my newly married friend’s home, and asked if I could lie on the floor in the corner of their lounge room for a few days until I felt better.

They indulged me. I felt it was this haven that saved me then, giving me the time to recoup and giving me a sense that there was somewhere I could go where the world was safe and neutral.

In time, and more bumpily and uncertainly than my friend, I was with a partner raising a family. He was often involved in our children’s birthdays, other celebrations, our house-moving, and just dropping in on family meals. It worked for us. I remember him lifting our cast iron wood-burning stove into its place in our first renovated Brunswick cottage. He lived in a more sprawling home near bushland on the edge of Melbourne, so one of my pleasures became the long cycling trips out to see him.

My partner and I were embraced by a local community thanks to the childcare centre, kinders, schools and sport. Lasting friendships (for us and for our children) grew in the tentative, open-ended, slightly blindly feeling way of friendships. Through this decade and a half though, the particular friendship with my songful friend held, perhaps to the surprise of both of us.

‘Tolerating much, for the sake of best intentions’

In his thoroughly likeable 1993 book on friendship , the political scientist Graham Little wrote under the bright light of writings by Aristotle and Freud, that the purest kind of friendship “welcomes the different ways people are alive to life and tolerates much in a friend for the sake of best intentions”.

Here perhaps is the closest I have seen to a definition of friendship at its best: a stance imbued with sympathy, interest and excitement directed at another despite all that otherwise shows we are flawed and dangerous creatures.

On that evening, the evening of the last time we went out to dinner together, I did push my friend towards one of the topics we usually avoided. I had been wanting him to acknowledge and even apologise for his behaviour towards some young women he had spoken to, I thought, lewdly and insultingly nearly a year before in my home at a party. The women and those of us who had witnessed his behaviour felt continuing tension over his refusal to discuss the fact that he had wanted to speak so insultingly to them and then had done it in our home in front of us. For me, there was some element of betrayal, not only in the way he had behaved but in his continued refusal to discuss what had happened.

The women were drunk, he said, just as he had said the last time I tried to talk to him about this. They were wearing almost nothing, he said, and what he’d said to them was no more than they were expecting. My friend and I were sitting in a popular Thai restaurant on Sydney Road: metal chairs, plastic tables, concrete floor. It was noisy, packed with students, young couples and groups out for a cheap and tasty meal. A waitress had put menus, water and beer on our table while she waited for us to decide on our meals. Wanting to push finally past this impasse, I pointed out to him that the women had not insulted him, he had insulted them.

If that’s the way you want it, he replied, and placed his hands on each side of the table, hurling it into the air and walking out of the restaurant as table, bottles, glasses, water and beer came clattering and smashing down around me. The whole restaurant fell silent. I could not move for some time. The waitress began mopping up the floor around me. Someone called out, “Hey, are you all right?”

This was the last time I saw or heard from him. For many months, I thought of him every day, then slowly I thought of him less often, until now I can think of him more or less at will, and not find myself ashamed of the way I went for him in a conversation where I should have been perhaps more alive to whatever was troubling him.

Improvised, tentative

For some years after this, I felt I had to learn how to be myself without him. I have read articles and essays since then about how pitiful men can be at friendship. We are apparently too competitive, we base our friendships on common activities, which means we can avoid talking openly about our feelings and thoughts. I don’t know about this “male deficit model”, as some sociologists call it, but I do know that the loss of this friendship took with it a big part of my shared personal history at that time. It dented my confidence in ever having properly known this man or understood our friendship — or in knowing how secure any friendship might be.

I was drawn to read and re-read Michel de Montaigne’s gentle and strangely extreme essay on friendship where he was so certain that he knew with perfection what his friend would think and say and value. He wrote of his friend, Etienne de Boëtie, “Not only did I know his mind as well as I knew my own but I would have entrusted myself to him with greater assurance than to myself.”

Against this perfection of understanding between friends, there is George Eliot’s odd excursion into science fiction in her 1859 novel, The Lifted Veil . Her narrator, Latimer, finds he can perceive perfectly clearly the thoughts of all the people around him. He becomes disgusted and deeply disturbed by the petty self-interest he apparently discovers within everyone.

After 40 years of shared history, there was not the disgust Eliot writes of, nor Montaigne’s perfect union of mind and trust between me and my burly friend, but there was, I had thought, a foundation of knowledge whereby we took each other’s differences into ourselves, as well as our common histories of the cafe we had run, and as it happened our common serving of time in semi-monastic seminaries before we’d met — differences and similarities that had given us, I thought, ways of being in sympathy with each other while allowing for each other.

Read more: Guide to the classics: Michel de Montaigne's Essays

Montaigne’s dearest friend, Etienne, had died, and his essay was as much about the meaning of this loss as about friendship. His big idea was loyalty, and I think I understand that, though not in the absolute way Montaigne wrote of it.

Loyalty is only real if it is constantly renewed. I worry that I have not worked enough at some friendships that have come into my life, but have let them happen more passively than the women I know who spend such time, and such complicated time, exploring and testing friendships. The sudden disappearance of my friend left me with an awareness of how patched-together, how improvised, clumsy and tentative even the most secure-seeming friendship can be.

When the philosopher and brilliant essayist, Simone Weil wrote shortly before she died in 1943,

I may lose, at any moment, through the play of circumstances over which I have no control, anything whatsoever that I possess, including things that are so intimately mine that I consider them as myself. There is nothing that I might not lose. It could happen at any moment ….

she seemed to be touching on the difficult truth that we run on luck and hope and chance much of the time. Why haven’t I worked harder at friendships, when I know that they provide the real meaning in my life?

Some years ago, when I was told by a medical specialist that I had a 30% chance of having cancer, as I waited for the results of a biopsy, I remember that in response to these dismal odds I had no desire to go back to work, no desire to even read — all I wanted to do was spend time with friends.

Inner worlds laid waste

To know what it is we care about, this is a gift. It should be straightforward to know this and keep it present in our lives, but it can prove to be difficult. Being the reader that I am, I have always turned to literature and fiction for answers or insights into those questions that seem to need answering.

I realised some time after the ending of my friendship that I had been reading novels dealing with friendship, and was not even sure how consciously I had chosen them.

For instance, I read The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber, a novel about a Christian preacher, Peter Leigh, sent to convert aliens in a galaxy ludicrously far from earth on a planet with an equally unlikely atmosphere benign to its human colonisers.

It is a novel about whether Leigh can be any kind of adequate friend to his wife left behind on Earth, and whether his new feelings for these aliens amounts to friendship. Though my suspension of disbelief was precarious, I found myself caring about these characters and their relationships, even the grotesquely shapeless aliens. Partly I cared about them because the book read like an essay testing ideas of friendship and loyalty that were important and urgent to the writer.

I also read at that time Haruki Murakami’s novel, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage , a book that came with a little game of coloured cards and stickers, and I found that I cared about Tsukuru Tazaki too, for I felt all along that Murakami’s character was a thin and endearing disguise for himself (what a beautiful word that is, “en-dearing”).

The novel centred on lost friendships. I heard a tone in its voice that was the oddly flat, persistent, vulnerable and sincere searching of a man for connection with others. If Murakami’s novel has a proposition it wishes to test it would be that we only know ourselves in what images of ourselves we receive back from our friends. Without our friends we become invisible, lost.

In both those novels, the friendships are crashing to pieces in slow motion in front of the reader’s helpless eyes. I wanted to shake those characters, tell them to stop and think about what they were doing, but at the same time I saw in them mirrors of myself and my experiences.

I read John Berger too , on the way a human looks across an abyss of incomprehension when looking at another animal. Though language seems to connect us, it might be that language also distracts us from the actual abyss of ignorance and fear between all of us as we look, across, at each other. In his book on the savage mind , Lévi-Strauss quotes a study of Canadian Carrier Indians living on the Bulkley River who were able to cross that abyss between species, believing they knew what animals did and what their needs were because their men had been married to the salmon, the beaver and the bear.

I have read essays by Robin Dunbar on the evolutionary limits to our circles of intimacy , where he suggests that for most of us there needs to be three or maybe five truly close friends. These are the ones we lean towards with tenderness and open ourselves to with endless curiosity — those in whom we seek only the good.

My partner can name quickly four friends who qualify for her as part of this necessary circle. I find I can name two (and she is one of them), then a constellation of individual friends whose closeness to me I can’t easily measure. It is this constellation that sustains me.

Recently I was away from home for three months. After two weeks away I wrote a list in the back of my diary of the friends I was missing. A little more than a dozen of these were the friends, men and women, with whom I need contact, and with whom conversations are always open-ended, surprising, intellectually stimulating, sometimes intimate, and often fun. With each of them I explore a slightly different but always essential version of myself. Graham Little wrote that “ideal soulmates are friends who are fully aware that each has himself as his main life project”.

To live this takes some effort of imagination, and with my friend at dinner that night I might in myself have been refusing to make this effort.

There are also, it occurs to me, the friends who came as couples, with whom my partner and I share time as couples. This is itself another manifestation of friendship, one that crosses over into community, tribe and family — and no less precious than the individual intimacy of a personal friendship. For reasons I can’t properly fathom, the importance of this kind of time with coupled friends has deepened as I have grown through the decades of my fifties and sixties.

Perhaps it is that the dance of conversation and ideas is so much more complex and pleasurable when there are four or more contributing. It could be too that I am absolved from the responsibility of really working at these friendships in the way one must when there are two of us. Or it might be the pang and stimulus of the knowledge that opportunities to be together are brutally diminishing as we grow older.

But to lose an individual friend from one’s closest circle is to have large tracts of one’s inner world laid waste for a time. My feelings over the end of this particular friendship were a kind of grief mixed with bewilderment.

It was not that the friendship was necessary to my existence, but that perhaps through habit and sympathy it had become a fixed part of my identity. Robin Dunbar would say that by stepping away from this friendship I had made room for someone else to slip in to my circle of most intimate friends, but isn’t it the point of such close friends that they are in some important sense irreplaceable? This is the source of much of our distress when such friendships end.

Still learning

When I told people about what had happened in the restaurant that night, they would say, reasonably, “Why don’t you patch things up and resume your friendship?”

As I imagined how a conversation might go if I did meet my friend again, I came to understand that I had been a provocation to him. I had ceased to be the friend he needed, wanted or imagined.

What he did was dramatic. He might have called it merely dramatic. I felt it as threatening. Though I cannot help but think I provoked him. And if we had “patched” a friendship back together, on whose terms would this have been conducted? Would it always be that I would have to agree not to press him on questions that might lead him to throw over some table between us again?

Or worse, would I have to witness his apology, forgive him myself, and put him on his best behaviour for the rest of our friendship?

Neither of those outcomes would have patched much together. I had been hurting too over what I saw as his lack of willingness or interest to understand the situation from my point of view. And so it went inside me as the table and the water and the beer and the glasses came crashing down around me. I had been, in a way, married to my friend, even if he was a salmon or a bear — a creature across an abyss from me. Perhaps this was the only way out of that marriage. Perhaps he had been preparing for (moving towards?) this moment more consciously than I had been.

The ending of this friendship, it is clear, left me looking for its story. It was as if all along there must have been a narrative with a trajectory carrying us in this direction. A story is of course a way of testing whether an experience can take on a shape. Murakami’s and Faber’s novels are not themselves full-blown stories, for there is almost no plot, no shape, to their stumbling episodic structures, and oddly enough in both books the self-doubting lovers might or might not find that close communion with another somewhere well beyond the last page of each novel.

These novels cohere round a series of questions rather than events: what do we know and what can we know about others, what is the nature of the distance that separates one person from another, how provisional is it to know someone anyway, and what does it mean to care about someone, even someone who is a character in a novel?

When an Indian says he is married to a salmon, this can be no stranger than me saying I spent a couple of weeks on a humid planet in another galaxy with an astronaut who is a Christian preacher and an inept husband, or I spent last night in Tokyo with an engineer who builds railway stations and believes himself to be colourless, though at least two women have told him he is full of colour. But do I go to this story-making as a way of keeping my experiences less personal and more cerebral?

When I got home that night eight years ago, I sat at my kitchen table, shaking, hugging myself, talking to my grown-up children about what happened. It was the talking that helped — a narrative taking shape.

Dunbar, like me, like all of us, worries at the question of what makes life so richly present to us, and why friendships seem to be at the core of this meaningfulness. He has been surveying Americans with questions about friendship for several decades, and he concludes that for many of us the small circle of intimate friendships we experience is reducing.

We are apparently lucky now, on average, if there are two people in our lives we can approach with tenderness and curiosity, with that assumption that time will not matter as we talk in a low, murmuring, hive-warm way to a close friend.

My friend cannot be replaced, and it might be that we did not in the end imagine each other fully enough or accurately enough as we approached that last encounter. I don’t know precisely what our failure was. The shock of what happened and the shock of the friendship ending has over the time since that dinner become a part of my history in which I remember feeling grief but am no longer caught in confused anger or guilt over it. The story of it might not have ended but it has subsided.

Perhaps in all friendships we are not only, at our best, agreeing to encountering the unique and endlessly absorbing presence of another person, but unknown to us we’re learning something about how to approach the next friendship in our lives. There is something comically inept and endearing about the possibility that one might still be learning how to be a friend right up to the end of life.

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Essay on Friendship

List of essays on friendship, essay on friendship – short essay for kids (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on friendship – 10 lines on friendship written in english (essay 2 – 250 words), essay on friendship – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7) (essay 3 – 300 words), essay on friendship – for students (essay 4 – 400 words), essay on friendship (essay 5 – 500 words), essay on friendship – introduction, benefits and qualities (essay 6 – 600 words), essay on friendship – essay on true friendship (essay 7 – 750 words), essay on friendship – importance, types, examples and conclusion (essay 8 – 1000 words).

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Who is in this world does not have a friend?

A friend, with whom you just love to spend your time, can share your joys and sorrows. Most importantly you need not fake yourself and just be what you are. That is what friendship is all about. It is one of the most beautiful of the relations in the world. Students of today need to understand the values of friendship and therefore we have composed different long essays for students as well as short essays.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 Standard).

Introduction:

Friendship is considered as one of the treasures that anyone can possess. God has given us the liberty to choose friends because they are for our lifetime. It is quite normal for our parents and siblings to love us because they are our own blood but a friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all the other relations. Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations.

Role of a Friend:

True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes. Friendship is all about having true friends who can understand us without the need for us to speak.

Conclusion:

Friendship is very essential for a happy life. Even a two-minute chat with a friend will make us forget our worries. That is the strength of friendship.

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Friends are those you can choose for yourself in spite of the difference you both have from each other. A good friend in need will do wonders in your life, whenever you are in need of self-realization, upbringing your confidence and more.

Friendship serves you best not only in your happiest moments but also when you feel low in emotions. A life without a good friend is not at all complete and an emptiness will be felt all the time you think of sharing your emotion that can’t be told to anyone else.

Honesty and Patience in Friendship:

To maintain and keep going with a good deep friendship, honesty is the most important factor. You should choose a person who can be cent percent honest with you in all perspective like emotions, decision making, etc. Trustworthy friendship will help you to take better decisions and choose a better path for your future well-being.

Tolerance and patience with each other are another important characteristics of long-lasting friendship. Accepting the differences, friends should be able to be with each other in all situations. As a friend, the person should lead the other to success by being a motivation and criticize the person if they choose the wrong path.

Friendship will give you sweet and happy memories that can be cherished for a lifetime and if you succeed in maintaining that precious relation, then you are the luckiest person in this world. Love and care for each other will cherish the relationship and helps the person to appreciate each thing done without any fail.

Of all the different relations which we indulge in, friendship is considered to be the purest of them all. Friendship is the true confluence of souls with like minded attitude that aids in seamless conversation and the best of times. It is believed that a person who doesn’t have any friend lives one of the toughest lives.

The Desire to Belong:

Each one of us have been so programmed that we need a companion even if it’s not romantic, someone just to tag along. There are several definitions of friendship and it is upon you as to how you believe your relation to be. Friendship can happen when you are simply sharing a bowl of food with a person day after day. It can be expressed in the way you silently care for someone even when they may not be aware of your existence.

The Little Moments that Matter:

It is giving up the little things you love dearly for the sake of someone you cherish a great deal. Friendship often refers to the little moments of senseless laugh you two share when the rest of the world starts to look bleak. It is to know what your friend needs and being there for them even when the rest of the world has turned their back towards them.

Friendship is the kind of relation which sometimes even exceeds the realms of love because it is all about giving without even once bothering to sense what you shall get back. Every time spent is special because when you are with friends, you don’t feel the blues!

The Bottom-Line:

Of course the definition of friendship is going to vary a great deal from one person to another. But, remember one thing, when you are friends with someone, be prepared to put your heart on the line for their happiness because friendship often manifests into love, even if it is not romantic, it always is true!

Friendship is the most valuable as well as precious gifts of life. Friendship is one of the most valued relationship. People who have good friends enjoy the most in their live. True friendship is based on loyalty & support. A good friend is a person who will stand with you when times are tough. A friend is someone special on whom you can rely on to celebrate a special moment. Friendship is like a life asset and it can lead us to success. It all depends on our choice how we choose our friends.

The quality of friendship is essential for happiness. The benefits of healthy friendship remains long-life. In addition, having a strong friend circle also improves our self-confidence. Due to the strong relationship, we get much emotional support during our bad times. True friendship is a feeling of love & care.

Real friendship cannot be built within limited boundaries like caste or creed. It gives us a feeling that someone really needs us & we are not alone. This is true that man cannot live alone. True friends are needed in every stage of life to survive. A true friend can be an old person or a child. But it is generally believed that we make friend with people who are of the same age as ours. Same age group can give you the freedom to share anything.

The selection of a true friend is also a challenging task. We have to carefully make our friend selection. Friends might come & go. They will make you laugh & cry. Wrong selection can create various problems for you. In the modern world, many youngsters become a social nuisance. The reason behind it is wrong & bad friendships.

But if we successfully choose the right person as a friend then our life becomes easier. It doesn’t matter who you are, what type of clothes you wear. The most important thing is trust because the relation of friendship stands on the pillars of trust.

Friendship is a relation which can make or break us in every stage of life. But in other words, friendship is an asset which is really precious. Obviously, it is also not so easy to maintain friendships. It demands your time as well as efforts. Last but not the least, it is hard to find true friendship but once you succeed in this task you will have a wonderful time. In exchange for that a friend will only need your valuable time and trust.

The idea of friendship is either heartwarming or gives cold feet depending on individuals and the types of friendships. In the current world, friendships have had different definitions based on the morality and civilization of the society. Ideally, friendship is defined as the state of mutual trust between individuals or parties. Trust is an important component of friendship because it determines the reliability and longevity of the friendship. Trust is built through honest communications between the individuals and interested parties.

Once trust has been established, mutual understanding and support being to form the resulting in a friendship. This friendship can be broken through lack of trust. Trust can be breached through deceit and/ or some people, it differs with the frequencies. There are people who will break friendships after only one episode of dishonesty whereas some people give second chances and even more chances. Friendship types determine the longevity and the causes of breakups. The importance of friendship in the lives of individuals is the reason why friendships are formed in the first place.

Types of Friendships:

According to Aristotle’s Nichomachean ethics, there are three types of friendships. The friendships are based on three factors i.e. utility, pleasure and goodness. The first type of friendship is based on utility and has been described as a friendship whereby both parties gain from each other.

This type of friendship is dependent on the benefits and that is what keeps the friendship going. This type of friendships do not last long because it dissolves as soon as the benefits are outsourced or when other sources are found outside the friendship. The friendship was invented for trade purposes because when two people with opposite things that depend on each other re put together, trade is maximized.

The second type of friendship is based on pleasure. This is described as friendship in which two individuals are drawn to each other based on desires of pleasure and is characterized by passionate feelings and feelings of belonging. This type of friendship can ether last long or is short-lived depending on the presence of the attraction between the two parties.

The third type of friendship is based on goodness. In this friendship, the goodness of people draw them to each other and they usually have the same virtues. The friendship involves loving each other and expecting goodness. It takes long to develop this kind of friendship but it usually lasts longest and is actually the best kind of friendship to be in. the importance of such a friendship is the social support and love.

In conclusion, friendships are important in the lives of individuals. Trust builds and sustains friendships. The different types of friendships are important because they provide benefits and social support. Friendships provide a feeling of belonging and dependence. The durability of friendships is dependent on the basis of its formation and the intention during the formation. Friendships that last long are not based on materialistic gain, instead, they are based on pure emotion.

Friendship is an emotion of care, mutual trust, and fondness among two persons. A friend might be a work-mate, buddy, fellow student or any individual with whom we feel an attachment.

In friendship, people have a mutual exchange of sentiments and faith too. Usually, the friendship nurtures more amongst those people who belong to a similar age as they possess the same passions, interests, sentiments, and opinions. During the school days, kids who belong to the similar age group have a common dream about their future and this makes them all of them get closer in friendship.

In the same way, employees working in business organizations also make friends as they are working together for attaining the organizational objectives. It does not matter that to which age group you belong, friendship can happen at any time of your life.

Benefits of Friendship:

Sometimes friendship is essential in our life. Below are a few benefits of friendship.

1. It’s impossible to live your life alone always but friendship fills that gap quickly with the friend’s company.

2. You can easily pass the rigidities of life with the friendship as in your distress period your friends are always there to help you.

3. Friendship teaches you how to remain happy in life.

4. In case of any confusion or problem, your friendship will always benefit you with good opinions.

True and Dishonest Friendship:

True friendship is very rare in today’s times. There are so many persons who support only those people who are in power so that they can fulfil their selfish motives below the name of friendship. They stay with friends till the time their selfish requirements are achieved. Dishonest friends leave people as soon as their power gets vanished. You can find these types of self-seeking friends all around the world who are quite hurtful than enemies.

Finding a true friendship is very difficult. A true friend helps the other friend who is in need. It does not matter to him that his friend is right or wrong but he will always support his friend at the time of his difficulty.

Carefulness in the Selection of Friendship:

You must be very careful while choosing friends. You should nurture your friendship with that person who does not leave you in your bad times easily. Once you get emotionally attached to the wrong person you cannot finish your friendship so soon. True friendship continues till the time of your last breaths and does not change with the passing time.

Friendship with a bad person also affects your own thoughts and habits. Therefore, a bad person should not be chosen in any type of circumstances. We must do friendship with full attention and carefulness.

Best Qualities of Good Friendship:

Good friendship provides people an enormous love to each other.

The below are the important qualities of good friendship:

1. Good friendship is always faithful, honest, and truthful.

2. People pay attention and take note of others thoughts in good friendship.

3. Persons quickly forget and let off the mistakes of the other friend. In fact, they accept their friend in the way they are actually.

4. You are not judged on the basis of your success, money or power in it.

5. Friends do not feel shy to provide us with valuable opinions for our welfare.

6. People always share their joyful times with their good friends and also stay ready to help their friends in the time of need.

7. True friends also support others in their professional as well as personal life. They encourage their friends in the area of their interest.

Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of mutual benefit. True Friendship is a support and a blessing for everybody. All those males and females who have true and genuine friends are very lucky really.

Friendship can simply be defined as a form of mutual relationship or understanding between two people or more who interact and are attached to one another in a manner that is friendly. A friendship is a serious relationship of devotion between two or more people where people involved have a true and sincere feeling of affection, care and love towards each other devoid of any misunderstanding and without demands.

Primarily friendship happens between people that have the same sentiments, feelings and tastes. It is believed that there is no limit or criteria for friendship. All of the different creed, religion, caste, position, sex and age do not matter when it comes to friendship even though friendships can sometimes be damaged by economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. From all of these, it can be concluded that real and true friendship is very possible between people that have a uniform status and are like-minded.

A lot of friends we have in the world today only remain together in times of prosperity and absence of problems but only the faithful, sincere and true friends remain all through the troubles, times of hardships and our bad times. We only discover who our bad and good friends are in the times where we don’t have things going our way.

Most people want to be friends with people with money and we can’t really know if our friends are true when we have money and do not need their help, we only discover our true friends when we need their help in terms of money or any other form of support. A lot of friendships have been jeopardised because of money and the absence or presence of it.

Sometimes, we might face difficulty or crises in our friendships because of self-respect and ego. Friendships can be affected by us or others and we need to try to strike a balance in our friendships. For our friendship to prosper and be true, we need satisfaction, proper understanding and a trustworthy nature. As true friends, we should never exploit our friends but instead do our utmost best to motivate and support them in doing and attaining the very best things in life.

The true meaning of friendship is sometimes lost because of encounters with fake friends who have used and exploited us for their own personal benefits. People like this tend to end the friendship once they get what they want or stab their supposed friends in the back just to get what they think is best for them. Friendship is a very good thing that can help meet our need for companionship and other emotional needs.

In the world we live in today, it is extremely difficult to come across good and loyal friends and this daunting task isn’t made any easier by the lie and deceit of a lot of people in this generation. So, when one finds a very good and loyal important, it is like finding gold and one should do everything to keep friends like that.

The pursuit of true friendship Is not limited to humans, we can as well find good friends in animals; for example, it is a popular belief that dogs make the best friends. It is very important to have good friends as they help us in times and situations where we are down and facing difficulties. Our true friends always do their best to save us when we are in danger and also provide us with timely and good advice. True friends are priceless assets in our lives, they share our pains and sorrow, help provide relief to us in terrible situations and do their best to make us happy.

Friends can both be the good or the bad types. Good friends help push us on the right path in life while on the other hand, bad friends don’t care about us but only care about themselves and can lead us into the wrong path; because of this, we have to be absolutely careful when choosing our friends in this life.

Bad friends can ruin our lives completely so we have to be weary of them and do our best to avoid bag friends totally. We need friends in our life that will be there for us at every point in time and will share all of our feeling with us, both the good and bad. We need friends we can talk to anytime we are feeling lonely, friends that will make us laugh and smile anytime we are feeling sad.

What is friendship? It is the purest form of relationship between two individual with no hidden agenda. As per the dictionary, it is the mutual affection between people. But, is it just a mutual affection? Not always, as in the case of best friends, it is far beyond that. Great friends share each other’s feelings or notions which bring a feeling of prosperity and mental fulfillment.

A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, as and trust for eternity. Rather than having some likeness in the idea of two people associated with the friendship, they have some extraordinary qualities yet they want to be with each other without changing their uniqueness. By and large, friends spur each other without censuring, however at times great friends scrutinize do affect you in a positive manner.

Importance of Friendship:

It is very important to have a friend in life. Each friend is vital and their significance in known to us when certain circumstances emerge which must be supported by our friends. One can never feel lonely in this world on the off chance that he or she is embraced by true friends. Then again, depression wins in the lives of the individuals who don’t have friends regardless of billions of individuals present on the planet. Friends are particularly vital amid times of emergency and hardships. On the off chance that you wind up experiencing a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the change simpler.

Having friends you can depend on can help your confidence. Then again, an absence of friends can make you feel lonely and without help, which makes you powerless for different issues, for example, sadness and drug abuse. Having no less than one individual you can depend on will formulate your confidence.

Choosing Your Friends Wisely:

Not all friends can instill the positivity in your life. There can be negative effects as well. It is very important to choose your friends with utmost wisdom. Picking the right friend is somewhat troublesome task however it is extremely important. In the event that for instance a couple of our dear friends are engaged with negative behaviour patterns, for example, smoking, drinking and taking drugs, at some point or another we will be attracted to their bad habits as well. This is the reason behind why it is appropriate to settle on an appropriate decision with regards to making friends.

Genuine friendship is truly a gift delighted in by a couple. The individuals who have it ought to express gratitude toward God for having genuine pearls in their lives and the individuals who don’t have a couple of good friends ought to always take a stab at better approaches to anchor great friends. No organization is superior to having a friend close by in the midst of need. You will stay cheerful in your one-room flat on the off chance that you are surrounded by your friends; then again, you can’t discover satisfaction even in your estate in the event that you are far away from others.

Types of Friends:

There is variety everywhere, so why not in friends. We can see different types of friends during our journey of life. For instance, your best friend at school is someone with whom you just get along the most. That friend, especially in the case of girls, may just get annoyed even if you talk to another of your friend more than her. Such is the childish nature of such friendships that at times it is difficult for others to identify whether you are best friends or competitors.

Then there is another category of your siblings. No matter how much you deny, but your siblings or your elder brother and sisters are those friends of yours who stay on with you for your entire life. You have a different set of friendship with them as you find yourself fighting with them most of the times. However, in times of need, you shall see that they are first ones standing behind you, supporting you.

There is another category of friends called professional friends. You come across such friends only when you grow up and choose a profession for yourself. These friends are usually from the same organisation and prove to be helpful during your settling years. Some of them tend to stay on with you even when you change companies.

Friendship Examples from History:

History has always taught us a lot. Examples of true friendship are not far behind. We have some famous example from history which makes us realise the true value of friendship. The topmost of them are the Krishna and Sudama friendship. We all must have read or heard as to how after becoming a king when Krishna met Sudama, his childhood friend, he treated him with honour even though Sudama was a poor person. It teaches us the friendship need not be between equals. It has to be between likeminded people. Next example is of Karna and Duryodhana, again from the Mahabharat era.

Despite knowing the fact that the Pandavas were his brothers, Karna went on to fight alongside Duryodhan as he is his best friend and even laid down his life for him. What more example of true friendship can one find? Again from the same era, Krishna and Arjun are also referred to as the best of the friends. Bhagavad Gita is an example of how a true friend can guide you towards positivity in life and make you follow the path of Dharma. Similarly, there are numerous examples from history which teach us the values of true friendship and the need to nourish such for own good.

Whether you accept or deny it, a friend plays an important role in your life. In fact, it is very important to have a friend. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to choose the friends wisely as they are the ones who can build you or destroy you. Nonetheless, a friend’s company is something which one enjoys all through life and friends should be treated as the best treasure a man can have.

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How to Moderate Between Two Arguing Friends

Kathryn rateliff barr.

Conflict is a normal part of life, but it can complicate your relationship when two of your friends are fighting, especially if they try to get you to take sides. If you aren’t involved in the argument, you can have a more objective look at the issues and help your friends resolve the conflict through mediation before things get so far out of hand that friendships are destroyed.

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• Air the Problem
• Clarify the Situation
• Avoid Entanglement
• Identify the Threat
• Finding a Solution

1 Air the Problem

Get your friends together, face to face, so the argument can be resolved. Express your appreciation for both of them and your concern about their bickering. Allow first one and then the other to fully present each side of the argument, asking your friends not to interrupt one another and to fully listen to what is being said, advises therapist and attorney Bill Eddy in “High Conflict Mediation: Four Tips for Mediators" on HighConflictInstitute.com. Stress the need for understanding each other, demonstrating respect and identifying the feelings being expressed.

2 Clarify the Situation

Put all of the issues out on the table by asking open-ended questions, suggests mediator Lee Jay Berman in “13 Tools for Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, with Customers and in Life” on Mediate.com. Ask how the argument started and why it’s important to each friend. Remind them to remain calm and seek commonalities that lead to a win-win solution. Ask them to avoid blame. Listen carefully to the answers, trying to discover each friend’s perspective while remaining neutral.

3 Avoid Entanglement

You can’t moderate if you get involved in the argument. Remember, this is not about you, it's about your friends, Eddy writes. Remain calm and realize that you don’t have to solve their problem -- they do. Your role is to be an objective third party who does not need to control the situation. Don’t criticize or get angry with them if neither will budge.

4 Identify the Threat

Conflict arises and remains because each side perceives a threat, according to therapists Jeanne Segal and Melinda Smith in “Conflict Resolution Skills” on Helpguide.org. Ask your friends to identify the threat behind the argument, such as a fear or hurt that fuels the anger. You might be able to help with that by asking each friend what emotions he feels, what needs are not being met, what would solve the argument or asking each friend to summarize what the other has said without adding commentary or judgment. Use humor when possible to diffuse the anger, stress and need to win.

5 Finding a Solution

Ask your friends to identify what is needed to resolve the problem, suggests psychotherapist Joyce Marter in “10 More Tips for Effective Conflict Resolution" for "The Huffington Post." Suggest that they let go of anything they feel is less important than their friendship. Encourage them to consider if each would rather be right than friends and what would be lost in apologizing for hurt feelings. Help them reconnect and celebrate their friendship if they are willing to work it out.

• 1 Mediate.com: 13 Tools for Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, with Customers and in Life
• 2 HelpGuide.org: Conflict Resolution Skills
• 3 Huffington Post: 10 More Tips for Effective Conflict Resolution

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown

I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.

There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I wasn’t expressing myself well and I knew it. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.

I found myself laying unwarranted blame on my friend rather than admitting openly that something was hurting me and I was feeling vulnerable.

Ultimately, he said the words I was having trouble finding for me, and that resolved the situation.

I was embarrassed and grateful, but I realized I needed to evaluate a few of my shortcomings to avoid making the same mistake again.

I also realized that what I was feeling wasn’t the problem.

It was my inability to effectively convey what was in my heart and on my mind that led to hurt feelings and further misunderstanding.

After much self examination, I’ve come up with a few tips to communicate effectively during a conflict.

1. Think about whether this needs to be said right now, in this moment.

Sometimes the opportunity will be missed if not.

In my case, I felt I needed to bring the subject up right then or I might not have gotten the nerve again. I went for it, but it could have gone better if I’d waited to form a well organized idea of what I wanted to say.

2. Think about the other person’s state of mind.

Is he/she tired, under other stress, or not in an ideal place right now to have a heartfelt talk?

3. Consider if you have a good handle on your emotions.

Also, consider if you have the proper perspective to deal with the potential consequences.

Email, texts, and cell phone calls are not an ideal way to introduce the need to talk about something substantial.

4. Hold off on the confrontation if you feel the time is not right.

There is a marked difference in avoiding a hard topic and thoughtfully planning the ideal time to have a potentially difficult conversation.

5. Focus on breathing to help control your emotions.

If you begin a difficult conversation starting from a place of controlled emotion and grace, the path will be smoother.

6. Keep your perspective broad and realistic.

Don’t place too much importance on a single talk. Most of the progress in relationships comes from a series of discussions as they unravel naturally. Try and stay in the moment and minimize added drama by bringing up old or irrelevant issues.

7. Listen more than you talk.

It’s fine to be heard, but if you are not listening to the other’s response, the discussion is pointless.

8. Avoid adding unnecessary drama.

These things never help to fix a problem and ultimately bring more hurt to all involved. These include ultimatums, yelling, threatening to cut off the friendship, name calling, and personal attacks.

If it comes to that, walk away. Breathe, step back, and allow some time before you try again.

9. Focus on what the person is trying to communicate.

I’m often reminded as a parent to listen to my children’s words and not necessarily the emotion behind them. Emotions are fleeting, and rarely final. They are simply a temporary reaction to the current situation.

My three-year-old sometimes throws temper tantrums when she’s frustrated, but if I listen and respond to her words, it often diffuses her anger. Many times she is telling me she is not feeling heard as the youngest member of our family. I focus on the simple phrase, “Mommy! Listen to me!” Not her screaming voice and kicking feet.

10. Acknowledge the feelings.

If you acknowledge that someone is angry or hurt, you can better understand the sharp or harsh words that may be coming from them. You can choose to help them deal with their emotions or let them regain their composure to talk another time.

11. Take a realistic assessment of your true feelings in the moment.

I tend to distort and add unintended nuances to the words that others say when I am upset. This has caused me a great deal of distress in past conflicts. I am not on the wrong page, but in the wrong book sometimes metaphorically speaking.

After such experiences, I find the other person saying “How did you come to that conclusion from what I said?”

This is a classic example of our ability to inflict the worst hurts upon ourselves.

If I realize that I am upset and try to hear the words being said to me as they are, without my running mental commentary, things come across much clearer.

12. Clear the emotional fog enough to receive the message.

If you need to ask for clarification or even repeat what you think the other person is trying to say, so be it.

13. Know that most well established relationships can weather the occasional conflict just fine.

It can even be an opportunity to grow and evolve as you turn a new corner of understanding one another.

The friend I argued with is the best kind. He challenges me to broaden my perspective. He is relentless in keeping me from settling and expecting too little from life. He pushes me out of the nest over and over when I get too comfortable.

Don’t avoid expressing how you feel for the sake of preserving a friendship.

The foundation of all relationships is grounded on honesty and trust. It’s okay to show weakness, to be wrong, or to just plain melt down from time to time. Each person has something to give and something to learn. Conflict might be considered the way to pass along such knowledge.

I am fortunate my friend knew me well and was willing to give me space and offer forgiveness. The next time I have something to say, I will try to remember this and be more straightforward.

Every challenge with another is a chance to better our response. They give us the chance to practice patience, respect for others, detachment, and compassion. The added benefit is strengthening our relationships and our ability to communicate.

About Nicole Franco

Nicole Franco is an emerging freelance fiction writer seeking representation for her first novel. She enjoys family, horses, travel, reading, photography, and making others laugh. To read more of her writing or hire her for freelance work, visit francowrites.com .

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Describe an Argument Between Two of Your Friends

Describe an argument between two of your friends. You should say

• When did it happen?
• How did they solve it?
• What do you think about it?

Arguments are part of our life; we all do arguments. Arguing has two basic reasons. Firstly, After a conversation, one becomes emotional; secondly, you have experience of it or having strong options that prove it is true.

Today I would like to talk about the time when my two friends argued with each other. It was not a long time ago, just 1 month ago, when we are seated at one friend home and chit-chatting.

After some times, we discussed on lockdown topic. In India, the corona case is rising dramatically on second waves. Ravi who is my friends told that the bureaucrats should to imposed lockdown, it aid to control cases while Keyur, was believed that lockdown is not the only way and not good for Indian that time, it directly affects the economy.

After a few arguments, both voice tones was rose; we try to calm them down, but no one listens to us; they just arguing with each other—both willing to own the notion of pros and others cons.

After nearly 15 minutes, both had control horses; they realise that it us upon the government, required to listen to other points as well.

Ravi was in lockdown favour because few months back, he loses his uncle whereas the Keyur family struggling as financial, father of his only bread earner and due to the last lockdown, he had no job. Arguments between my two friends have increased our heartbeat for a while and like our heart was in the mouth; however, luckily, no physical clash happened. And after some time, they became cool as a cucumber. I think authority always think about citizen and take a decision that is people a favour.

Follow-Ups of Describe an Argument Between Two of Your Friends

Question 1:- do you think childhood friendship can last for long.

Yes, if you have contact with each other and live in the same areas when a child, it can definitely be long. Childhood friend knows each other better. After completing graduation or school, people lose their friends due to busy on personal life or move to another country or city.

Question 2:- Is it important that people should have good friendships?

Without any doubt, yes, friends and family are always standing on our side, whatever the situation is. Good friendship also aids people to better and polite person. Bad friendship sometimes for tribulation.

Question 3:- Did you ever see a celebrity in your life?

Unfortunately no, I haven’t seen any celebrity yet; however, in the near future, my dream will complete.

Question 4:- Do you remember the friends you had made in childhood?

Yes, I have many childhood friends; I am still in contact with them and frequently chat or call with them; if we are in the same area, I also meet and tack a cup of tea.

Question 5:- Is it easy to make friends now as compared to the past?

I don’t think it is dependent on time, although in the past we got a true and loyal friend who can stand on the front side of our bad time and in good time step back. Furthermore, nowadays also we can make, it is upon a person.

Question 6:- What are the important qualities of a good friend?

As I said before, a friend who stands by our side whenever we have a bad or critical situation rather than in a good time, a loyal friend also paramount. Friends who can guide and tell our mistake and how to tackle them.

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• Handling Friendship Problems

How to Fix an Argument Between Friends

Last Updated: August 6, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 97,117 times.

Even the best of friends argue sometimes. Arguments between friends can lead to hurt feelings, avoidance of one another, an increase in future conflict, and ultimately, the breaking down of the friendship altogether. In order to mend the friendship, you may need to first address the problem or argument. It can hurt and be difficult, but luckily there are positive ways of dealing with arguments and conflict such as: planning to fix the situation, utilizing conflict resolution skills, using positive communication, and reducing future conflicts.

Planning to Fix the Situation

• Begin by looking at what happened from your perspective and thinking rationally about it. Use both your rational mind and your emotional mind, but try to look at the situation objectively. Let’s say you found out that your friend was talking negatively about you behind your back. Think about all of the specifics of the situation. How did you find out? What did the person say? How did you handle it?
• In order to analyze the issue, it can be helpful to identify what led to the issue and what happened afterwards. Identify the Antecedent (what happened before the conflict), Behavior (what you did) and Consequence (what happened as a result of the behavior). Let’s imagine that the conflict began by you finding out that your friend is talking behind your back (antecedent), and then you confronted your friend which turned into a verbal argument (behavior). Next, you and your friend stopped talking to each other for a week (consequence).
• Know that some arguments are okay; not all arguments are bad. It is okay to disagree with your friends sometimes, and argue or debate about a topic. [1] X Research source It is how you go about arguing that is important; each person needs to be respectful and neither should be aggressive.

• One way of doing things differently is thinking differently. For example, if someone told you your friends was talking negatively about you, is it possible that this isn’t true?
• Another way of doings things differently is changing your actions. If you confronted your friend about what you heard, can you identify a better way you could have approached the situation? Were you really mad when you tried to resolve the conflict? Did you say something you regret?

• Gather some ideas about what hurt your feelings or made the situation more difficult for you. For example, perhaps your friend called you a bad name and cursed at you, and this made you feel sad and angry.
• Identify specifically what your friend could have done differently. For example, if your friend cursed at you, perhaps she could have lowered her voice, spoken calmly, and used words that were not hurtful or aggressive.

Resolving the Conflict

• If you haven’t talked to your friend in a while, try texting or calling her to set up a time to meet. You could say something like, "Hey. I'd like to set up a time to talk with you in person? Are you okay with that?"
• Avoid having a conversation about the issue over text, messenger, email, or phone. Face-to-face contact is the best approach to solving conflict because it reduces the likelihood of a miscommunication; you can’t tell a person’s tone or facial expression from a text message. You can say, "I think it would be better if we talk about this in person. I really want to be able to understand you better. How about we go get coffee?"
• Pick an appropriate location that is somewhat private. Do not involve other people as this can seem like you are ganging up on your friend; talk to your friend individually. [3] X Research source Good locations might be at a coffee shop, your home, or a park. Try to avoid places like school or work (where other people you know might be around).
• Discuss each side of the situation. First let your friend talk about her experience and her feelings. This shows that you are willing to put your thoughts aside while you focus on her.

• Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. How would it feel to be in her situation? What would it be like to think her thoughts and feel her feelings? Are there other things going on in her life that are affecting the situation (difficult situations at home or at school)?
• Try to be understanding and look at her point of view as an outsider. Maintain a distant stance from your own emotions in the meantime in order to reduce the likelihood that you will take something she says personally and react emotionally.

• Say something like, "I realize you are hurt and I'm sorry." Then listen to what she has to say. Don’t say something like, "I might have been wrong, but you made it worse."
• Reader Poll: We asked 411 wikiHow readers who’ve argued with a loved one, and 59% of them agreed that the best way to show your commitment to rebuilding the relationship is by apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions . [Take Poll]

• You could start by saying, "I really want to solve this problem together. Do you think we can come up with a solution that we both agree on?" You can also emphasize that you are willing to work on things by saying, "I understand that I need to work on some things too, so I want you to know that I'm open to hearing about what you'd like me to do better next time."
• Focus on being cooperative and helping the other person. [6] X Research source Instead of thinking about your own needs, think about your own desires in the context of your friend’s needs as well. Is there a way you can both get your needs met in a safe and healthy way? Perhaps you can help your friend learn how to communicate better, and you can learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
• Don’t compromise too much. Compromising may mean you get only part of what you want, and sacrifice of your important desires. [7] X Research source Be willing to budge a bit, but don’t completely compromise your wants and needs to appease the other person.
• Analyze possible solutions and agree on one option that fits for the both of you. Take a look at the situation and think of how to solve it together. Perhaps make a list of options where both parties involved would work on something. For example, if you heard that your friend was talking negatively about you and you confronted her, some solutions might be that you could have spoken more assertively instead of aggressively, and your friend could have done the same. Once you have come to this conclusion, you can agree on what you both can do differently in the future.

Using Positive Communication

• Be direct. Approach your friend calmly and tactfully. Listen to her point of view, and then explain how you feel.
• Use “I statements,” such as, “I felt angry when I heard you were talking bad about me to other people.” Make sure you emphasize how you feel instead of what the other person did; you should always state your feelings first in order to reduce the likelihood that the other person will react emotionally or take it personally.
• Focus on positive aspects of the relationship. You could say something like, "Your friendship means a lot to me and I don't want this to come between us.”
• Maintain positive eye contact. Don’t stare without looking away every once in a while, and don’t avoid eye contact. Maintain eye-contact that is comfortable, look away every once in a while, then regain eye-contact.

• Avoid engaging in hurtful behaviors such as name-calling, put-downs, or blaming. [10] X Research source For example, don’t say things like, "I can't believe you did that. I hate you. You’re stupid.” Instead, say something assertive like, "I felt really angry when I heard that you were talking about me behind my back. I know that it may have been taken out of context, but can you give me your side of what happened? I'd like to understand where you're coming from."

• Don’t avoid the problem, this can result in unresolved conflict. [12] X Research source
• Don’t apologize for everything, only your part in the problem. In other words, do not take the entire blame. There are always two people in a conflict, and in most case both people exhibit behaviors that contribute to the issue.
• Look at your friend and maintain eye-contact instead of staring at the floor or fidgeting.
• Do not simply accommodate the other person’s will or wishes. Your needs are just as important. [13] X Research source

• Some examples of passive-aggressive communication are sarcasm, talking behind the person’s back (speaking negatively about her to others), spreading rumors, or getting other people to dislike your friend.

Reducing the Frequency of Future Arguments

• Allow for space. Sometimes friends need a break from one another in order to re-assess the situation and get some clarity.
• Give up control. Trying to control your friend may produce negativity within the relationship. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Respect your friend’s wishes if she doesn't want to talk about the situation, but let her know it's upsetting you.
• Do not force her to talk things through as this may lead to another argument.

• Avoid having conversations when you are very angry. Walk away if there is a conflict that may escalate into aggressive communication or violence. [15] X Research source
• Keep calm and remember to breathe!

• Identify your strengths and cultivate them! Let’s say you are good at performing, join an acting class or audition for the school play. The more activities and skills you involve yourself in the better!

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• ↑ http://scholar.uwindsor.ca/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1863&context=ossaarchive
• ↑ https://ascelibrary.org/doi/full/10.1061/%28ASCE%291532-6748%282005%295%3A4%2887%29
• ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02673843.2012.690933#.Vc5jzbWzm70
• ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6387662_Empathy_and_conflict_resolution_in_friendship_relations_among_adolescents
• ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/communication.htm
• ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2633221/

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How To Deal When 2 Of Your Friends Are Fighting

Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost

If you’re of a certain age, you’ve likely run into a friendship problem that seems more grade school than grown up: Two friends in your inner circle get into some petty argument that becomes long-standing, and inevitably you’re dragged into the middle.

It happened not long ago to Kali Rogers , the CEO and founder of Blush , an online life coaching company for girls.

“It was a very precarious situation from the start,” Rogers told HuffPost. “I tried my best to stay out of it, but in the end, one of the friends actually ended up turning on me and reacquainting herself with the other friend.”

No good deed goes unpunished, especially in the messy arena of adult friendships.

Rogers’ tale of feuding friends is all too common, but there’s no real playbook for how to handle it: To intervene or stay out of it? What do you do about social events like your birthday, where you want both to attend? Have no fear, friendship feud advice is here! Below, five tips to make this sticky situation a little less stressful.

Don’t let them wrangle you into taking sides.

You might not mind playing mediator ― maybe you even relish doing so if you’ve got a bit of a savior complex . But don’t let either of your friends talk you into taking a referee role, where you’re forced to weigh in on who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong, said Marie Land, a psychologist based in Washington, D.C.

“To be clear with them, say something like, ‘I care about your feelings, but I’m not going to take sides,’” Land said. “If they aren’t getting it and are defensive, you have the right to explain how this is impacting you.”

For instance, say something like: “It kind of makes me uncomfortable to talk about X with you. Can we talk about something else? What’d you think of that new Jordan Peele movie?”

To deflect further and remind them that responsibility for the situation lies with them, Land suggests saying, “I hope that you guys can talk about it or feel better about things.”

Don’t overpersonalize the situation.

Your circle of friends ― and the state of each of those friendships ― obviously matters to you. But ultimately you’re dealing with adults who dictate how they spend their free time and with whom. They call the shots when it comes to friendships they want to invest in or not, said Andrea Bonior , a psychologist and the host of Baggage Check , a live weekly chat on The Washington Post.

“It’s not your job to manage other people’s conflicts, and although it can be very frustrating and stressful to have two friends fighting, remember that the more you make it about you, the more miserable you will be,” she said.

Plan ahead for shared events.

When social events roll around, hold your ground and invite whomever you damn please to your party, said Melissa S. Cohen , a psychotherapist in Westfield, New Jersey. Part of being an adult is growing out of the self-centeredness and drama of our youth. Your friends should be able to recognize when they’re not the focal point of the event. (Plus, if it’s a party setting, all the extra people there should help bring down the intensity of the scorched-earth vibes going on between them.)

“Everyone needs to rise above their own issues to focus on why they’re gathering in the first place,” Cohen said. “Maybe in advance, remind them that it takes a lot more effort to snub someone than to simply be cordial. Even if we are hurt, everyone deserves to be treated with respect.”

Cohen’s pro tip for interacting with someone you’d just as rather not? Extend the same level of politeness that you would to a stranger on the subway.

“Acknowledge their existence and then focus elsewhere,” she said.

Set healthy boundaries and rules for conversation.

Put your own peace of mind first here. Set clear boundaries with each friend to establish your role ― or really, your lack thereof ― in this feud, Rogers said.

“I recommend enforcing rules such as no negative speech about the other friend in front of you, no relaying messages between the two enemy friends and no referencing the feud in your presence,” she said.

Be willing to accept that their friendship may have run its course.

Friendships are fluid things. Sometimes, in the process of growing individually or just living our daily lives, we outgrow each other. You might get along swimmingly with both of these people, but if they no longer “click” as friends, it doesn’t need to bring additional stress into your life.

“At this point, they may have little in common except their friendship with you,” said Irene S. Levine , a psychologist and author of “Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend .” “If being together as a trio gets too uncomfortable, you may need to see each of them individually from now on.”

“Of course, it’s helpful to try to clear up any misunderstandings, but pushing too much may backfire,” she said. “All you can do is reassure your two friends that, individually, their friendship with you will always be important.”

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From our partner, huffpost shopping’s best finds, more in life.

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Fights with friends

Although it’s hard to fight with your friends, it’s totally normal and even common to disagree with those closest to you. We’ve got some tips to help you out.

Being friends doesn’t mean that you’ll never fight.

84% of you told us that you have fought with your besties or had trouble getting along at times it’s common for friends to fight or have trouble getting along.  .

Sometimes fights are easy to move on from and they can make your friendship stronger and closer. 

Sometimes small fights can turn into big fights and you may have to work harder to sort things out. 

Reasons friends fight

Friends can fight for many different reasons. These include:

Feeling excluded

Misunderstanding

Changes in priorities

Different interests

Personality clash

Broken trust

Feeling disconnected

Different opinions

Manipulation

Different values

Peer pressure

Competitiveness 

Changes in friendship group

Fighting with a friend?

The way you act during a fight can have an impact on your friendship, here are some tips to help you get through a fight with a friend:.

"Fights don’t have to have a negative ending! Dealing with or overcoming a fight together can make your friendship stronger."

- Sky, Kids Helpline counsellor

After a fight with a friend

Allow some time to calm down and relax. When you’re ready, reflect on how you feel and what happened. It might help to ask yourself these questions:

Could you be overreacting?

Is it worth losing a friend over?

What made you upset, hurt or angry?

Who can you talk to outside the situation?

What do you want your friend to do or not do?

What do you need to be able to overcome this?

What’s bothering you the most about this fight?

What role might you have played in this fight?

How would you like things to be with your friend?

What might be going on for your friend to make them act differently?

Working things out

To move past this fight, it’s important that you and your friend talk things through. here’s what you can do:.

• Reach out – Let your friend know that you want to talk and work things out.
• Make a time to talk – When you’re both ready and calm, set a time to talk.
• Keep calm – Speak in a calm, even voice. Take a break if things get heated!
• Be present – Make eye contact, avoid interrupting and distractions (so important).
• Talk about your feelings – Use “I” statements and be specific e.g. “I feel disrespected when you speak over the top of me. This happened yesterday during lunch. I feel this happens a lot. Can we chat about this more?”
• Be open – Let your friend share their feelings and thoughts. It’s a two-way street!
• Apologise – Say you’re sorry for your role or actions during the fight, e.g. “I’m sorry that I upset you by not including you in the group chat. It was an honest mistake, but I understand how that would have been hurtful.”
• Agree to disagree – When you want to move past this but find it hard to agree.
• Fix things together – Figure out how to stop this from happening again.
• Be patient – It may take time for things to go back to normal.
• Celebrate – If you’re able to work things out, celebrate by having fun!

Sometimes things don’t work out (and that’s actually ok!)  

Take some time to think about your friendship. you might decide to:.

Spend time apart.

Give yourself some time to reflect on what you are getting out of the friendship, and pay attention to how that friend makes you feel e.g. do you feel good hanging out with them or do you dread it every time your phone goes off and it’s a text from them?

Only hang out in a group.

This can be a way to meet in the middle – you’re not completely cutting the friendship, but you are still able to be in each other's company within a wider group to dilute the amount of one-on-one time.

Still be friends but not as close.

You can still take the time to celebrate with each other (think birthdays, first car, graduation etc) but not sharing your deepest thoughts like you may have done in the past.

End the friendship.

You need to do what’s best for you and sometimes walking away from a friendship is the best thing.

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when the friendship no longer works

A friendship breakdown can be really tough and can feel like a huge loss. whatever happened, here are some ways to cope: .

• It’s ok to be sad (it’s very normal!)
• Take care of yourself. Do things that help you de-stress. Spend time with other friends who make you feel good about yourself. 
• Keep yourself busy. This could be a good time to try a new hobby you haven’t got around to yet, which could also help you to… 
• Meet new people! What a great time to explore some new connections! 
• Talk to someone about how you feel whether it be a friend, family member or a counsellor. Whatever feels right for you and gives you what you need.
• Be polite and respectful towards the friend you are ending things with. Parting on good terms can help heal your emotional wounds and let you feel good about how you left things.

6 Signs your friendship is healthy

1. There is no ‘main character’ in the friendship taking up the stage!

Instead, both of you have equal space to express yourself, share life experiences and support each other in a way that feels equally beneficial.

2. You look forward to seeing your friend

Spending time with them is fun and enjoyable.

3. You feel good about yourself!

It sounds old school, but hanging out with people that bring out the best in you says a lot about the vibe of the friendship. Positive vibes = positive friendship.

4. You can go to your friend for help

on literally anything and know they will have your back, without judging you or making you feel bad about yourself.

5. There are way more happy memories than negative ones!

When you think back on your time together as friends, it’s of course totally fine and normal to have had some rough patches along the way, but as long as the highlight reel stands out more, chances are you’ve got yourself a good one (friend that is).

6. You can be your complete, full, awesome self!

A good friend accepts you just the way you are, every day of the week, 365 days of the year. Simple, but so powerful!

Are you friends, enemies or frenemies? How to tell if your friendship is ‘toxic’

A toxic friendship is one where you start to feel really bad about yourself most of the time. not sure if you’re in a toxic friendship here’s some key signs that can help:.

• You give more than you get out of the friendship   
• You are starting to/have lost trust that your friend has your back   
• You feel anxious when you see a message pop up from them   
• Spending time with them is no longer fun   
• You feel bad about yourself when you are with them
• You know they are talking badly about you behind your back

When friendships don’t go smoothly it can be a really stressful time

Sometimes we need help to deal with fights with friends.

If you need to talk about what’s going on, Kids Helpline is here for you 24/7.

Give us a call , start a WebChat or email us today.

Check these out too:

Being assertive and setting boundaries

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All about respect

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Social media and mental health

Social media gets a pretty bad rap. It's true that it can ...

Peer pressure and fitting in

When your mates pressure you to do or go along with something ...

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Essay on Friendship for Students and Children

500+ words essay on friendship.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings.

You meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever. Those are your real friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. Friendship is the most beautiful gift you can present to anyone. It is one which stays with a person forever.

True Friendship

A person is acquainted with many persons in their life. However, the closest ones become our friends. You may have a large friend circle in school or college , but you know you can only count on one or two people with whom you share true friendship.

There are essentially two types of friends, one is good friends the other are true friends or best friends. They’re the ones with whom we have a special bond of love and affection. In other words, having a true friend makes our lives easier and full of happiness.

Most importantly, true friendship stands for a relationship free of any judgments. In a true friendship, a person can be themselves completely without the fear of being judged. It makes you feel loved and accepted. This kind of freedom is what every human strives to have in their lives.

In short, true friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Having a loving family and all is okay but you also need true friendship to be completely happy. Some people don’t even have families but they have friends who’re like their family only. Thus, we see having true friends means a lot to everyone.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Importance of Friendship

Friendship is important in life because it teaches us a great deal about life. We learn so many lessons from friendship which we won’t find anywhere else. You learn to love someone other than your family. You know how to be yourself in front of friends.

Friendship never leaves us in bad times. You learn how to understand people and trust others. Your real friends will always motivate you and cheer for you. They will take you on the right path and save you from any evil.

Similarly, friendship also teaches you a lot about loyalty. It helps us to become loyal and get loyalty in return. There is no greater feeling in the world than having a friend who is loyal to you.

Moreover, friendship makes us stronger. It tests us and helps us grow. For instance, we see how we fight with our friends yet come back together after setting aside our differences. This is what makes us strong and teaches us patience.

Therefore, there is no doubt that best friends help us in our difficulties and bad times of life. They always try to save us in our dangers as well as offer timely advice. True friends are like the best assets of our life because they share our sorrow, sooth our pain and make us feel happy.

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• Conversation Between Two Friends

Conversation between Two Friends in English

All of us, irrespective of our age, have friends. From among the number of friends we have, there might be one or two of them with whom we communicate each and every thing that happens in our lives. A day without a conversation with our friend might make us feel incomplete. A conversation between two friends can be based on the most trivial of things to the most serious ones.

Conversation writing helps to enhance children’s creative power. It helps them imagine all the possible kinds of conversations that might take place between two or more people in a given situation. Writing a conversation that occurs between two friends can be an easy and effective job if you learn how to capture the emotion conveyed.

This article will help you with a few examples of conversations between two friends in multiple situations. Check them out and try to understand how it can be done.

Table of Contents

Sample conversation 1 – between two friends who meet in a restaurant.

• Sample Conversation 2 – A Telephonic Conversation between Two Friends about a Reunion

Sample Conversation 3 – Between Two Friends Discussing a Movie

Rita – Hey Tina? Is it you?

Tina – Oh Rita! How are you? It’s been a long time.

Rita – I am fine, what about you? Yes, we last met during the board exams.

Tina – I’m good too.

Rita – What are you doing now?

Tina – Well, I have started my undergraduate studies in English Honours at St. Xaviers College in Mumbai.

Rita – Wow! You finally got to study the subject you loved the most in school.

Tina – True. What about you Rita? Wasn’t History your favourite subject?

Rita – You guessed it right. I took up History Honours in Lady Shri Ram College for Women in Delhi.

Tina – That’s nice. I am so happy for you.

Rita – I am happy for you too. Let’s meet up again soon.

Tina – Yes, sure! We have a lot to catch up on.

Rita – Bye for now. I have to pick up my sister from tuition. Take care.

Tina – Bye, will see you soon.

Sample Conversation 2 – A Telephonic Conversation Between Two Friends about a Reunion

Jay – Hello? Am I talking to Prateek Agarwal?

Prateek – Hello. Yes, I am Prateek Agarwal. May I ask who is speaking?

Jay – Prateek, it’s me Jay Roy from college. Remember?

Prateek – Hey Jay, how are you? It has been such a long time.

Jay – I am doing good. Yes, four long years after college. I got your contact number from Piyush. You remember him, right?

Prateek – Yes, yes, I do remember him. Wasn’t he the one who topped our engineering batch last year?

Jay – Yes, that’s him! He’s in Boston working for a big MNC now.

Prateek – Wow! Good for him.

Jay – The main reason I called you up is because I am planning to organise a reunion of our batch and wanted to know if you could make it.

Prateek – Really? Yes, I would love to attend the reunion. Just let me know the time and venue.

Jay – Do you remember the auditorium of our college where we had our orientation program?

Prateek – How can I forget that auditorium? We all have spent so much time in that place over the years.

Jay – That’s the place for our reunion. I called up the college regarding this and they gave us permission to have the reunion there. In fact, some of our professors might also be there. I’ve sent out invitations to them too.

Prateek – Splendid! I am eagerly looking forward to the reunion.

Jay – I have to contact a few others too. I will let you know the details within two days. Meet you soon. Bye

Prateek – Sure, Bye.

Anjali – Hi, Raj. How was your weekend?

Raj – Hey, Anjali. My weekend was great. I watched a great movie.

Anjali – Oh really? What was the name of the movie you watched?

Raj – I watched Avengers Endgame. It is the last movie of the Avengers.

Anjali – Oh, I have watched Avengers Endgame too. I loved the movie.

Raj – Really? Who is your favourite Avenger?

Anjali – I can’t name one! Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Scarlet Witch and Black Widow, to name a few.

Raj – Wow, you have some of the strongest Avengers there! I have the same choice except that I loved Spider Man too.

Anjali – My sister took me to see the movie as soon as it was released. Both me and my sister have been great fans of Avengers since childhood.

Raj – Oh wow! I am myself a big fan of Avengers and have watched all the movies. I too wanted to go to the theatre and watch the movie, but I was out of station for a family function.

Anjali – Oh I see. The movie stood up to all the expectations that the audience had after watching the trailer. In fact, I would say the movie surpassed expectations.

Raj – Very true. There was no better way to finish the Avengers, I believe. The movie just took me through a rollercoaster of emotions.

Anjali – True! Just when I was feeling happy that the Avengers got rid of Thanos for good, the next moment I was bawling my eyes out seeing Iron Man had sacrificed himself to save the world and everyone else.

Raj – We can’t ever see Black Widow, Iron Man and Captain America ever in any Marvel movies.

Anjali – Yes, very sad. Anyway it was nice talking to you. See you tomorrow in school. Bye.

Raj – Same here. Bye.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a conversation.

A conversation is a type of communication that takes place between two or more people. Through conversation, people communicate different ideas, thoughts and information.

How many types of conversation are there?

There are four types of conversations namely debate, dialogue, discourse and diatribe.

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Compare and Contrast Essay About Two Friends

By: Max Malak

Perhaps in high school, you've got homework to write a compare and contrast essay about two friends, or you need to write a comprehensive comparative report at work about two candidates for one position. To write an excellent comparative text, you need to start by identifying two objects that have enough common features and differences that can be meaningfully compared. In our case, these two objects are your two friends. To better understand this type of academic writing features, we suggest reading an example of a compare and contrast essay on two friends.

What Is The Purpose of The Compare and Contrast Essay?

9 steps for the best compare and contrast essay, example of compare and contrast essay about two friends.

Each person is individual in their own way. We all differ from each other in external qualities, character, habits. Everyone has their own taste and their own point of view on everything that happens around.

My class is no exception. Each student is unique and interesting. I have two classmates who are good friends. The boys have been friends since infancy, as their parents are also friends. It's probably true that opposites attract. Looking at them, it is generally difficult to imagine how these two can coexist together, and they are best friends.

Jerry is a diligent, caring, and attentive boy. He studies well. No, he is not an excellent student, but he understands all subjects. His favorite school lesson is chemistry. He likes to do all kinds of experiments. He is carried away by something new and previously unknown. Jerry likes to combine seemingly incompatible elements.

As for Garry, he is a real daredevil. Of course, his favorite lesson is physical education. Where else can you rush headlong, if not in this lesson? He is not at all interested in science, he constantly gets into some kind of scrapes. If we talk about his academic performance, then study does not interest him at all. He wants to become an athlete and believes that an athlete does not need to know and be able to do anything other than sports.

Although they are completely different from each other, they complement each other perfectly. If something goes wrong with Garry's lessons, Jerry will always come to his aid, prompt, and explain. If Jerry has a problem where physical strength needs to be used, then Garry is right there. They will never leave each other in trouble, they will always come to the rescue and will be together to the end, no matter what happens.

Many classmates admire them and their relationship because only a few can be friends. And it's really strange how people with such different personalities and outlooks on life can communicate so closely. All people are different, but we must learn to find a common language with everyone.

A compare and contrast essay serves to provide the target audience with an analysis of differences and the main similarities of two or more subjects, which may be anything, starting from a novel and finishing with people. Usually, comparing two friends is a very interesting activity. After all, they can be friends, despite different lifestyles, character traits, and other circumstances. What is the reason for their friendship? This is an interesting essay topic.

Step 1. Understand the essence of the task. Read the questions or instructions of your essay carefully. You may have a brilliant idea for writing a topic, but if it doesn't exactly follow the instructions, you may miss what your teacher asked you to do. You need to make sure that you understand the writing assignment you are asked to complete the right way. The point is, there are a number of different aspects about a particular subject of exploration. You may be asked to provide a comparison of the features of character of two friends, or you may be asked to find only the differences between them. Therefore, until you make sure about the exact task that you need to complete, you should not proceed to the writing of your compare and contrast essay on two friends.

Step 2. Conduct a mini-study. We recommend starting work on your paper early. Do some research beforehand, find out some interesting facts that you will include into your paper. In case if compare and contrast essay on two friends has to provide common and different features concerning you and your friend, it is necessary to try to provide an objective point of view. In order to do this, you may communicate with other people who know both of you, so you could hear an additional opinion about your and your friend's personalities.

You can also read good essay examples about friends. You can draw brilliant ideas from essay samples.

As soon as you undertake all these steps, it is time to proceed to write your compare and contrast essay on two friends.

Step 3. Choose a comparative method.

There are two main methods of comparison.

• Give a comparative description of the friends separately in each paragraph. What does it mean? You can tell first about one friend, and then about another, and finally draw the conclusion.
• But the second method is considered more convenient. Here friends are compared by points. That is, you choose one characteristic and compare friends. In another paragraph, compare them to another point.

Step 4. Work on your thesis statement. Keep in mind that it has to provide an argument explaining the reason (or several reasons) why you are right when comparing the subjects in that or another way. For example: "Each of my schoolmates has positive qualities. I can tell about any student, but among all of them, I like the friendship between the two girls. Their names are Payton and Rachel."

Step 5. Choose comparative characteristics. Decide what exactly you will compare. First, compare the simplest, "obvious" characteristics of friends: age, appearance, education, family members.

Pay attention to character traits : "Payton and Rachel are kind girls. They will never pass by a hungry kitten. But their characters are different. Payton is more persistent and a little stubborn. Rachel, vice versa, is softer and a little unsure of herself."

You can also compare how friends behave in similar situations : " In a difficult situation, Peyton always knows how to behave. Peyton is not lost and acts quickly. Rachel may be confused, and she needs support. Recently, the girls went camping with the class. Peyton and Rachel fell behind the main group. Rachel was frightened and began to cry. Peyton quickly remembered how to navigate the terrain and led the girls out of the woods."

Step 6. Divide the body of your friends essay into paragraphs. Each of the body paragraphs should provide a concrete point (or one of the main ideas). Every paragraph will start with an opening sentence that will provide a little overview of the rest of the information in the paragraph. For example: " Jenny is an excellent student, always ahead. She is praised at all parent-teacher meetings. "

Step 7. Think of good examples. A good essay cannot exist without good examples. Every time you mention a common feature or some kind of difference between the two friends who you compare, you need to give relevant, appropriate and interesting examples. Consider telling an interesting story that took place in real life, it will help provide a vivid image of a personality. For example:

"Having become friends, Payton began to invite Rachel to her home. They started playing in school. Thanks to this, Rachel understood the best way to teach the subject. They started doing homework together."

Step 8. Make up a conclusion, which would summarize all your main and supporting points: "Comparing girls, I can say that they are really good friends and diligent students. Payton just needs to learn a little and be more attentive. They both have a desire to learn. This will help them in life."

Step 9. Check your work. The final stage of essay writing includes a complete review. There are several important requirements for a high-quality essay.

• There should be no plagiarism in your text.
• The essay should be written in a certain style: APA, MLA or other.
• The essay should be free of grammatical mistakes.

If you find this stage difficult, it is better to contact the writing service for the essay editing .

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Here at Studybay, I work as a Head of Affiliates in the marketing department. I studied Liberal Arts and took related classes at Tokyo Sophia University. I believe that challenges are what make my job fun and exciting. That's why I like completing complex, complicated, and even weird tasks and then sharing my experience with colleagues.

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